"To worse ones," Marie added with a wink.
Ashley lifted her own cup, the motion slightly unsteady.To forget, she thought.To pretend this isn't destroying me.
She watched as Cole led the brunette upstairs, his hand possessive on her lower back, her giggle carrying her down the stairs.The door slammed with devastating finality.
"Don't," Sarah warned, catching Ashley's wrist."He's not worth it."
"I need air."Ashley pulled free, swaying slightly as she stood.The alcohol hit her harder than expected, making the room spin.Or maybe that was just her heart shattering in slow motion.
She lost track of time on the back porch, counting stars until they blurred together.The jungle juice she’d been drinking had turned her thoughts syrupy and dark, each one sticking longer than it should.Sarah found her there and pressed another drink into her hand without speaking.Ashley took it gratefully - anything to dull the image of Cole's hands on that girl's thigh, his teeth on her neck.
"Dance with us," Sarah insisted eventually, tugging at her arm."Sitting here wallowing isn't helping anyone."
Ashley let herself be pulled back inside, into the press of bodies and throbbing music.Marie appeared with shots of something clear and burning.The three of them moved together, and for a few blessed moments, Ashley almost felt normal.She almost felt young again.The alcohol made everything softer and hazier until she could almost pretend this was just a college party, that she wasn't trapped in a past she didn't belong to.
But the bathroom mirror told a different story.She found herself there sometime after eleven, staring at her reflection - younger than she remembered but with eyes that had seen too much.The counter was littered with lipstick tubes and forgotten cups, and Ashley gripped the edge of the sink, trying to steady herself.
"You okay in there?"Marie's voice drifted through the door.
Ashley wasn't sure how to answer that.How could she be okay, knowing what was happening upstairs?Knowing that the man she loved - would love - could be so casually cruel?She splashed water on her face, careful not to smear her makeup.The cool water helped clear her head but couldn't wash away the ache in her chest.
She thought about their future home, the home they'd planned together.The way Cole would press his ear to her belly, whispering secrets to their unborn child.How could that gentle, loving man and this careless boy be the same person?
When she emerged, Sarah was waiting for another drink, and there was concern in her eyes."You don't have to stay," she said softly."We can go home."
But Ashley shook her head.She couldn't leave - not yet.Some masochistic part of her needed to see this through, needed to understand this version of Cole completely.Even if it broke her heart.
They ended up in one of the living room's oversized sofas, Ashley's head spinning pleasantly as she sank deeper into the cushions.Sarah and Marie had disappeared somewhere - to dance, maybe, or find more drinks.The party had shifted into that late-night haze where everything felt slightly unreal, conversations overlapping and laughter carrying a desperate edge.
It was nearly midnight, and Ashley was finally, blessedly, numb.The alcohol had done its work, turning her thoughts to cotton and her limbs to lead.She let her eyes drift closed, the bass from the speakers thrumming through her bones.
A familiar giggle cut through her drunken haze.
Ashley's eyes snapped open, her body tensing despite the alcohol's fog.The brunette's voice drifted down from the staircase, followed by masculine laughter.She pushed herself up on unsteady arms, the room tilting dangerously as she focused on the scene unfolding by the stairs.
The brunette was draped over Ezra's arm, her dress askew, and lipstick smeared beyond repair.They made their way down the steps, passing through the nearby archway into the kitchen.Ashley's stomach lurched as she caught sight of Cole there, leaning against the counter with lazy grace, watching their approach with dark amusement.
"Taking my sloppy seconds, Ez?"Cole's voice carried clearly over the music, laced with cruel humor.
"Hardly sloppy when she's so...enthusiastic."Ezra's reply was smooth and practiced."Besides, I had her on her knees for me just last week."
More laughter.The brunette's voice joined in, playful and breathy."Don't fight, boys.There's enough of me to go around."
The alcohol in Ashley's stomach turned to acid.She gripped the sofa's arm, her knuckles going white as she fought back a wave of nausea.The casual cruelty in their voices, the way they passed women between them like party favors – it cut through her drunken numbness like a blade, leaving her raw and bleeding.
Ashley pushed herself up from the sofa, swaying as the room tilted around her.The need to escape clawed at her chest, but her legs felt like lead, her thoughts scattered and sharp.She made it three steps before stumbling into a table, sending empty cups clattering to the floor.
The noise drew attention.Through the spinning room, she caught Cole's eye.Recognition flashed across his face.He straightened from the counter, ignoring whatever Ezra was saying, his gaze fixed on her with predatory focus.
No.She couldn't do this.Not now.Not with the image of him and that brunette still burning behind her eyes.
She turned too quickly, the alcohol making her clumsy.The front door seemed miles away, blocked by a sea of bodies that wouldn't stop moving.Someone caught her elbow – Sarah or Marie, probably – but she shook them off, desperate for air, for space, for anything that wasn't the sound of that girl's giggle still echoing in her ears.
"Ashley."
Her name on his lips stopped her cold.She didn't turn around, and she couldn't bear to see that stranger's smile on her husband's face.His hand wrapped around her wrist, gentle but insistent, and the familiar touch sent electricity skittering across her skin.
"Running away?"His voice was low, meant only for her.The scent of whiskey and something darker wrapped around her, making her head spin."And here I thought you were trying to figure me out."
