“I get it.” He doesn’t. “But then what? You gonna wait for her after, say a mushy goodbye?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have a plan.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
I stare at him. He already knows. It doesn’t do me any good to acknowledge it.
I think about telling her, ya know, the things we don’t say and all, but I don’t want to put her in a position that makes it harder on either of us. She hasn’t reached out since she basically ran from my apartment, so I assume she’s leaving since she hasn’t said otherwise. I’ve been kicking myself for letting her go. I should’ve forced her to talk to me, but I thought I was doingwhat’s best for her. Now I’m not sure. I miss her and I haven’t even left yet. How much worse is it going to be when I’m in another state? My skin itches just thinking about it.
“Well, man. Never thought I’d see the day. Okay, that’s a lie. I knew the moment I saw the way you looked at her, you were fucked. Those fucking girls…” He trails off.
He never brings up Ellie anymore. When she’s helping us, she treats him the same as the rest of us. Not that I expected them to date or anything. That’s not his style, but it definitely seemed like she was the ‘shit’ he was going through for a minute.
“You good?” I ask, pulling his attention back to me.
“I’m great. We’re about to have one hell of a good time.” He smiles wide, wiggling his eyebrows.
Fuck, it’s going to be a long summer.
“Fucking hell!”I yell, slinging the tie across the room.
My sister comes running. “What’s wrong?” Her eyes are wide, panicked. Shit, she’s still jumpy.
“It’s nothing. Sorry. This stupid fucking tie. How do you even do this?”
She lets out a breath, stepping into my room. I’m standing in front of the mirror hanging over my dresser, trying to fix this goddamn tie.
Pacey picks it up from the floor. “Here.” She wraps it around my neck, working the silk until it’s perfect. “You look nice.”
“Thanks. How’d you know how to do that?” I ask, smoothing my hand over the material.
“Dad, remember? He’d let me choose his work ties?”
I do remember that. I meet my baby sister’s eyes, ones thatare just like mine—like his. They shine with tears, and the familiar ache cuts through my bones.
“I’m sorry,” I say, emotion burning my throat. I feel like I can’t say it enough.
“Me too.”
I grab her arms, tugging her into a hug. “I love you, Pace.”
“I love you, too. You better get going. Traffic is going to be a nightmare.” She pulls back, dabbing her eyes and forcing another smile.
“Shit, you’re right.” I glance in the mirror one last time and yank on the tie again. It feels like it’s suffocating me. I rush out the door. By the time I make it close enough, I jerk the truck into a donut shop parking lot and walk the rest of the way, hoping they don’t tow me.
The ceremony is being held outside on the lawn. It’s a sunny sixty-five-degree day, which I’m sure everyone is happy about. Not me. I’m already sweating in this fucking monkey suit.
There are several rows of white chairs set up on the grass. All the close ones are already taken, but I planned to sit in the back anyway. I know it wasn’t easy for her to get an extra ticket for me. Something about doing a favor for some girl to give her one, and there was no way I was letting it go to waste. I didn’t even tell her I was coming.
Taking a seat in the last row, I open my notes app on my phone, jotting down random thoughts and feelings in my SONG folder until the ceremony begins.
After what seems like forever, I see her. She’s waiting for her turn as they call out the names of students. Even though I’m far away, her bright smile is still visible, and my heart spikes at the sight. She looks so damn happy.
“Olivia Jane Whittington,” the man on stage calls.
I don’t even try to fight my smile as I clap and cheer alongwith the audience. She walks across the stage in her gown, grabs the paper, and moves her tassel. She disappears, and when it’s over, everyone starts dispersing.
I hang back, waiting for the crowd to clear, hoping I’ll be able to find her before she leaves. After several minutes, I hear a loud, familiar squeal. My head snaps around, and I see Ellie first. She’s jumping up and down, but when she spins, I catch Olivia. They’re laughing and smiling, and I don’t want to interrupt their moment, so I just watch.
