“What kind of partner? Secret agent partners or lovers?”
“Both, if you’ll have me, but I want more, too. I don’t just want a liaison every few months. I want a real relationship—you, me, and the whole messy life. I know it won’t be easy, but it’s not as insurmountable as you think. You wouldn’t need to give up being an agent or acting to be with me, I promise you.”
She looked away. “No one will accept me as your princess. Even your parents might not.” She thought back to the Queen’s words, but that didn’t mean the King would accept her. “I mean, the first time they met me I was in a torn dress covered with bruises, and they’d just found out I was working as an agent and that we’d known each other for two years. They won’t want someone in their family who spies and acts on the side.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. My mother already likes you because you’re loyal to Valleria, but mostly because you’re loyal to me. Don’t deny it. You sacrificed your life to save mine. You still love me, don’t you?”
Was she ready to admit it? Then again, saying the words had been easy after the first time. “I do love you, Ethan, but—”
“That’s a start, isn’t it?”
She shook her head. “Love wasn’t enough before, why would it be now?”
“Because now it’s not just love. There’s also trust, and acceptance of who the other person is. I know I still need to prove my trust to you, prove to you that I won’t let you down again, but I will. I’m just asking you to give us another chance. Whatever happens in the future, we’ll find a way to work it out. As long as we’re together, we’ll find a way.”
“You said yourself the public wouldn’t accept me as an actress with you as a prince. That hasn’t changed.”
“Yes, I did say that, but these past few months away from you, I’ve had time to think about this. If I’ve learned anything from my siblings and their relationships, it’s that we can’t let our fears of what the public will think keep us from the one we love. My siblings have figured out how to make the people accept who they fell in love with, and we can figure it out, too. The public’s accepted a commoner as their next queen, they’ve accepted Bash—Eddie, my sister Cat’s fiancé and former bodyguard, they’ve accepted Charlie—or Charlotte, my brother Nate’s fiancée who’s the Head of the Palace Kitchens…the list goes on. We can talk to them, get their advice, and spin the story so that the people won’t turn against you. There will always be negative press—as an actress, you know that—but we can deal with it, manage it together. If you want to continue acting, I’ll fully support you, and I’ll make sure my family stands by that decision as well, so the people will see that it’s not a problem.”
There was truth in his words. The public had accepted the people his siblings married or would marry, even if it was begrudgingly at times. Hell, Princess Charlotte literally cooked the royal family’s meal, then ate it with them and the public didn’t seem to mind. Then again, Princess Charlotte was also pregnant, and the nation was gripped in royal baby fever so much that they’d already forgiven her and Prince Nathaniel for eloping. Maybe she and Ethan could use the positive press towards the entire royal family right now to their advantage, maybe right before the baby was born…
Oh. Babies. Something else they should talk about.
She looked at Ethan, at those dark, dreamy eyes she wanted to lose herself in. “What about kids? If I’m acting and being an agent to take down Envision, we won’t be able to have kids, at least not right away. Depending on my work…I wouldn’t want to put them in danger. Maybe you think that’s selfish—”
“It’s smart, not selfish.” He reached up with his free hand to cup her cheek. “I get it. I absolutely do. I wouldn’t want them in danger either though, I will point out that as royal children, they’ll have lots of protection.”
That was true. She’d forgotten about that.
“I do want kids, Anda. I want another little you in the world who doesn’t take shit from anyone, and doesn’t settle for shit she doesn’t deserve. I grew up in a big family and I always wanted kids because of that—not nine kids, but yes, maybe one or two—but who says it has to be now? I can wait, and we can play this by ear, too, depending on how things with Envision go. If it turns out that we can’t have kids because of any danger they may face, then we’ll have lots of nieces and nephews to dote on.”
She wanted kids. Not all foster kids did when they grew up. Some never wanted a family while others, like her, wanted it desperately. Even if they didn’t have kids, if what Ethan said was true, then his family would become hers, too. She would have a family who loved her and cared for her, and that was what she wanted most. Luna and her foster parents had been a pseudo-family, giving her the very basics of what she needed, but she wanted more. Maybe she’d get that from him and his family.
“Well, Anda? Are you willing to take another chance on me? Whatever other obstacles we face, we can get through them, I promise we can, as long as we stick together and are honest with each other. I know you might not trust me again yet, but I’m going to work damn hard to make it happen.”
Should she take another chance on him? Shit, fuck, shit.
She’d barely had time to process anything but now her mind was working in overdrive. She thought back through everything that had happened in the ballroom, and backstage, and the apartment. She’d been trained to sort fact from fiction, so that’s what she did now.
Fact: She’d gone to the theatre in the first place to keep him safe, because she loved him and wanted to protect him.
Fact: She did get kidnapped while trying to keep him safe. It wasn’t just her agent training pushing that decision, it was her love and desire to protect him.
Fact: Maybe at the start of the evening, he just wanted to stop her from finding the perpetrators, but later he was right there beside her.
Fact: When faced with leaving her to fend off her kidnappers alone, he revealed his secrets to Marcello. He’d even confessed to becoming an agent, all the while knowing that could mean he’d never work as one again. He’d risked something he loved for something, really someone, he seemed to love even more: her.
Fact: Despite Marcello’s disapproval, Ethan had still told his family about her right away, still admitted he loved her, and defended her. He’d stuck by her. He’d fought Marcello for her and her job and her mission to take down Envision.
Fact: He could have left her in the hospital the last few days, but he hadn’t left her alone. He’d stuck by her again.
Fact: She loved him.
Fact: He loved her.
Fact: He accepted her.
Fact: He trusted her.
