“When we’re ‘out’ to the public as a couple, when you’re not an actress or an agent anymore.”
She inhaled sharply. She’d thought about them becoming public and what that might mean, but it was the first time the reality of it hit home. “You want me to give up everything? And what about you? Will you still be an agent?”
“I can continue your work with Envision. I can still help dismantle them, just in a different way than you would have.”
“Bullshit. Envision is mine to destroy. I’ve spent my whole life working towards this.”
He threw up his hands and they fell against him with a solid slap. “What did you expect? You can’t continue acting—every kiss you have onscreen would make the public cry ‘cheating’—and you can’t go on risky missions because the risk would be even higher that someone could kidnap you and hold you for a royal ransom. You can’t tell me you haven’t considered this.”
She had, that much was true. Yet why did she have to give up everything? She knew all about perception and politics—fuck, that shit was everywhere in the film industry—but would it really matter if the girlfriend of the youngest royal and ninth in line to throne kissed a man in a movie?
“All right, I have considered it, but there are other projects I can act in. What if I started choosing projects where I wasn’t kissing another person—would you still force me to give up acting and my path into Envision?”
He pursed his lips. “Anda.”
“You would, wouldn’t you? See, it doesn’t matter what projects I do. It’s that I act at all that’s the issue with you.”
“Not with me, with the public.”
“Fuck the public perception! I know how to spin a goddamned story and so do you and your family and your press offices. We could have a life in public—yes, it would be different, for both of us, but it would be possible for me to be an actress and an agent and help take down Envision. The truth is that you only want me onyourterms because you don’t trust me, who I am now, enough.”
“I do trust you. If you want, I’ll tell you exactly what happened with my family.”
She just shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Ethan. It’s too late.”
She started to move past him, but he put the lightest touch on her arms to pause her. “Please don’t leave. Let’s talk some more. Please give me another chance. I promise I won’t let you down.”
She could do that, but how much of her heart would she be risking for him? Twenty-four hours ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated, but the realization that he didn’t trust her was just too much. After all this time, after all these missions together…they knew so much about each other, yet what did they really know at the end of it? He might know everything about her, but she still didn’t know anything about him, not really. He still hid parts of himself away from her and she wasn’t sure he would change.
People shouldn’t have to change who they were to be in a relationship. She shouldn’t have to change her job andheshouldn’t have to change who he was either. But one thing that required change to move a relationship forward was trust, and opening themselves up to each other. She’d done that, or she thought she had. Maybe she had convinced herself that he had, too, when in reality he hadn’t done any of it.
She knew that she’d still do anything for him, would give her life for him, but she couldn’t be with him, not like this.
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s too late. I’ll request a transfer so you can keep working with the Elites and I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight. We’re set to ship out again tomorrow, and I’ll make sure I get my assignment before then.” She paused. “Take care. If you ever need help, I’ll still be just a phone call away. I hope you know that.”
He was silent for several long seconds. “You stay. I’ll find another place to sleep.”
He grabbed his pack, stuffed it with his clothes and items from around the room. When he finished, he gave her a final look, then left.
For so many of their months together, she thought she hadn’t been alone, that she’d had him, when now it appeared she’d been alone all along.
Just as she’d always been.
She whispered into the small, empty room. “Goodbye, Ethan.”
Then she collapsed to the floor in tears.
* * *
ETHAN
Three months ago…
VRS Overseer, Medical Bay
Location: Need to Know
Ethan went to the med bay on the ship. There was a backup doctor on board now in case the crew needed it while he was off on missions, but the bay was blissfully empty when he got there.
