The terror was still real. She felt even now that someone might just grab her from behind and yank her back to the awful place. She blurted out the only thing she could say. ‘Can you hold me, please?’ She’d felt so safe in his arms earlier. And yes, that had turned to terror just now but it hadn’t been his fault.
Cassian came over and took the glass out of her hand and enveloped her in his arms. Wrapping them tight around her. Gradually, Lili’s heart rate eased back to normal and the intermittent trembling stopped.
The warmth of his body seeped into hers, removing the cold tentacles. Melting the terror. Her cheek was pressed against his chest and his heart was a steady beat.
And infinitesimally, Lili felt sensation return. Awareness. And with that came a need to eclipse the terror she’d just felt. In the only way she knew how.
She pulled back slightly and looked up. Her eyes fell on Cassian’s mouth. Up to now, they hadn’t kissed. They’d done everything else but kiss.
Cassian spoke. ‘Lili…do you want to talk about what just happened?’
She shook her head. ‘I want you to kiss me.’
He made a sound—like a groan. ‘Lili, believe me, I want to kiss you too, more than anything, but I think we need to—’
She reached up and pressed her mouth against his, cutting off his words. His mouth was still open and she opened hers. Their breaths intermingled and then Lili felt Cassian unlock his arms. He put a hand to her head, fingers in her hair and he pulled her even closer.
And then, even though this was the first time she’d kissed a man, it happened like an age-old dance. Her arms twined around his neck and his other hand was on her waist, gripping her through the fabric of the robe and their tongues…Dio…how had she not allowed herself to have this before now? It was the most exquisite pleasure she’d ever known and she was drowning in the taste of him. It was like hot nectar. It made her feel desperate. She didn’t know how long they stood there kissing but she never wanted it to end.
But eventually, they broke apart. Lili opened her eyes. Everything was blurry. Cassian came back into focus. He stroked a finger down her cheek to her jaw. He said, ‘Now, that was a kiss worth waiting for.’
Lili might have said something witty or flippant but she just wasn’t that type of person and the faintest tendrils of her terror still lingered to remind her that her past was all too present for her liking.
She said, ‘Take me back to bed, Cass.’
He rubbed his chest and she could see where a faint bruise was blooming over his pectoral muscle. She was mortified. She touched it gently. ‘I did that, I’m so sorry.’
‘You didn’t mean to. And soon you’ll tell me what happened, hm?’
Lili weakly avoided his eye and nodded and to her relief he didn’t push it and led her back up to the bedroom.
* * *
Two days later Lili was back in the villa on Lake Como. For the first time since she’d started living there, she had a sense that she didn’t need this place to be her safety net or sanctuary. Because something else had taken its place. Or, more accurately,someone.And that revelation was terrifying. Because from an early age she’d learnt not to depend on anyone.
But now she was here on her own again because Cassian had gone to Rome on business before he stepped back into being a racing driver. The race in Monte Carlo was in a week’s time and he would be busy prepping for that. And Lili felt bereft.
Angry with herself for allowing this attachment to form—Ha! Attachment? That’s what you’re calling it?sneered a little voice—Lili forced herself to put thoughts of Cassian aside—good luck with that—and get on with learning how to be the mistress of this villa and not its housekeeper.
First of all she cleaned all of her loose and flowy clothes that she’d been using as a uniform and then put them in black bags and took them to a women’s refuge centre in Como. There was a slight tussle with the bag as her hand clenched around it instinctively when handing it over but she forced herself to let go.
Then when she got back to the villa she walked around and noticed lots of areas where paint was peeling or looking shabby. The decor was tired. She’d noticed this since she’d arrived but she’d put its careworn appearance down to lack of interest on the owner’s behalf. Now she knew that Cassian cared deeply about the place even if it pained him to be there.
She went online and started to do some research and welcomed the distraction.
* * *
Cassian was sitting in his office in Rome—Milan was where the board of the Corti Group had their meetings because symbolically that’s where the seat of Corti power had been for centuries, but Rome was where the operational part of the corporation was run from in the modern day. Along with London and New York.
He was feeling restless, distracted. Aware that his mind wasn’t really on business, or the race coming up in Monte Carlo. In fact, he hadn’t fully admitted it to himself but the Corti Group required a lot more of his focus than he was currently giving it and he’d known that for some time.
Not to mention the passion he had for making motor racing more sustainable because he knew if they could do it there, then they would be blazing a trail for every other industry.
But all of those things paled into insignificance when his mind kept looping back to Lili, like a boomerang.Passion.He’d never known anything like it. Even now there was a banked fire inside him, just waiting for her to send it sky-high again. He felt permanently altered in some way. As if she’d retuned him to vibrate at a different frequency.
He’d always prided himself—or assumed arrogantly—that he was a consummate lover. All of the women he’d been with had certainly behaved that way. But it wasn’t until he’d slept with Lili that he’d really noticed another woman’s reactions. And cared that she was truly with him, all the way.
He couldn’t get that kiss out of his head. That first kiss. When she’d reached up and put her mouth to his. So soft. But firm. Sweet. Mouth open. Slightly clumsy but all the sexier for it.
