He’d fallen into that kiss like a drowning man searching for an anchor and the truth was he hadn’t found it, he was still drowning.
There was apingon his cell phone and he picked it up. A text from Lili. That was enough to make his body react. He opened it and could imagine the slightly shy expression on her face.
Hi, I hope your meetings are going well. I don’t want to disturb you but I wanted to discuss doing some redecoration work in the villa? And there are some upgrading renovations that would be useful. I have all this time on my hands now, I’d be happy to take it on board, with your approval. Lili. x
Cassian couldn’t take his eye off that smallx. Filled with a sudden sense of urgency he issued an order to his assistant and then sent back a text.
I’m on my way home.
On the flight to Milan Cassian realised the significance of telling Lili he was returninghome. A wave of ice went through his body, dousing the sense of anticipation at the thought of seeing her again.
That sense of peace he’d felt recently mocked him.
This had started out as a very clinical marriage arrangement to secure his inheritance of a property that held equal parts pain and joy for him. And yet it had turned into something else entirely.
Lili had been the one to suggest the marriage in the first place. Who was she really? A prickle of exposure skated over Cassian’s skin. He might look to everyone else as if he lived without much of a care but he was pretty circumspect when it came to choosing lovers. He always made sure they were from his cynical world and didn’t expect anything more than a very transitory liaison. But since he’d been with Lili, all those concerns had fallen by the wayside.
Because you’re married. Yes, but it wasn’t a real marriage. And yet, here he was, running back to his new bride because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.You need an heir, you’re just doing what needs to be done.But even Cassian wasn’t sex-distracted enough to delude himself that the sex with Lili was being undertaken with one focus in mind and nothing else.
It was being undertaken because his desire was unquenchable and ravenous. Any other concern was secondary. He was realising uncomfortably that he needed her like he needed to take another breath. And that’s why he’d gone to Rome—because subconsciously he’d needed to prove to himself that she didn’t have him in a bind. But now here he was, disproving that.
Cassian almost instructed the pilot to turn around again but his phone pinged with another text. Lili responding to his last message.
Great, I’ll be waiting. x
And that was all it took for his head to be filled with tantalising images of Lili laid out on a bed, naked, inviting him to come and explore those luscious curves—Cassian threw down his phone. The ice was melting, the doubts were receding and he told himself he was being ridiculous to overthink this. He wouldn’t want Lili forever and he’d never denied himself pleasure before now.
He was still the same man with the same basic motivations: to live his life on his terms, and if those terms meant pursuing pleasure at all costs and racing around a track in a structure made of mostly carbon fibres at speeds of two hundred miles per hour then nothing much had changed at all.
CHAPTER TEN
IT SCARED LILIhow much she was looking forward to Cassian’s return to the villa. She’d thought she wouldn’t see him again until some time after the race in Monte Carlo. After all, they’d certainly followed the fertility doctor’s advice fairly comprehensively.
Lili was due her period any day now and while she didn’t think for a second they’d be lucky enough to get pregnant on their first attempts, she found she was torn between both wanting it to have happened and also for it not to have happened because if she fell pregnant, then what would that mean? Job done. Heir conceived. Cassian could get on with his life.
‘Lili, he’s on the boat, he’ll be here in about ten minutes.’
‘Grazie, Eloisa, I’ll go down and meet him.’
Lili made her way down through the garden. Dusk was falling. So much had happened since she’d gone down to these gates weeks ago. It boggled her mind if she thought about it too much.
She’d changed. She felt lighter. Less afraid. She didn’t mind people getting close. She’d bumped into Matteo earlier and before that would have precipitated a reaction close to a panic attack. She’d just apologised and brushed it off.
And she wasn’t wearing one of those big loose flowy dresses. Because they were all gone. Shewaswearing a dress, but it was sleeveless and came to above her knee and it was form-fitting, with a belt around her waist and buttons down the front. She’d deliberately left the top buttons undone to show a hint of cleavage, giddy with an excitement she’d never felt before, because she’d never had a boyfriend or a lover.Or a husband.
She pushed open the big gates and went down the steps. She heard the sound of an engine and she could make out the tall figure at the wheel. Lili’s insides fizzed and somersaulted and her blood felt thick and hot and between her legs grew damp with desire. Her nipples pebbled into hard points.
The boat came close enough for her to pick out Cassian’s features. Those grey eyes swept over her body and a fresh wave of heat engulfed her. He threw her the rope and she secured the boat. Then he stepped onto the pier and she was so desperate to feel him under her hands that it didn’t give her a second thought or moment of hesitation when he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her so thoroughly she almost melted into a puddle at his feet.
They pulled apart. Her hands were wrapped around his wrists as if she could keep his hands on her face. And then, without wasting another second, Cassian was taking her hand and leading her straight up to the villa and to the bedroom.
An electric urgency crackled between them. Like nothing Lili had felt before. ‘Cass…what?’
‘I need you. Now.’
There was a stark expression on his face and in that moment all Lili could think of helplessly was,I’m falling in love with him.
A dozen questions bubbled up inside her, even as they both reached for each other wordlessly, stripping off clothes and falling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, skin already damp with anticipation:What happens if I get pregnant? Will you still want me? Or will this all be over? Will you really just leave me and your child behind and get on with your life? And why does that not feel like enough for me now?
