I answer first with a raspy chuckle. “What do you think?”
“Sometimes I don’t know what to think. I understand your reasons for us not pursuing the… attraction between us until after the movie, but there are days when you are on set and I don’t even see you, and Kenneth brings my notes and we have no contact, and I wonder if I’m dreaming it all.”
“If you are,” I tell her, my voice dropping lower with need and anticipation, “then we’re having the same dream.”
Usually when I’m shooting a movie, I’m completely consumed by that story. Nothing distracts me. The one time I strayed from that one-track mindedness, it bit me in the ass and ruined the story. Neevah has no idea how many of my rules I’m violating taking her away like this beforeDessi Bluewraps, even if we are on a break.
“I want that—to be in a dream with you,” she answers, sounding breathless—like maybe this thing between us that I’ve given up resisting she can’t resist either.
THIRTY-SIX
Neevah
There’s a feeling I get before a performance.
It vacillates between trepidation and almost unbearable excitement. I run the lines in my head and can barely sit still, I’m so ready to get on that stage, or lately, on set.
The time Canon and I will spend together over the next few days is not a performance. I know that, but I feel the same things. Breathless, like a moth got loose in my rib cage, the wings fluttering over my heart. I understand why Canon’s been cautious, but I’m glad he wants this, too.
Now.
When my phone rings, I’m in the bathroom packing toiletries. He’s due here soon, and I hope that’s not him saying he’ll be any earlier.
It’s not.
“Hey, honey,” Takira says.
“Hey. Let me put my headphones on so I can keep packing.”
I slip on the headphones and return to the bathroom. “What’s up, T? How’s the break going?”
“Now, you know I did not call to talk about my boring Christmas break, though I did get some last night.”
“Oh?” I stop to lean one hip against the bathroom counter. “With who? How was it?”
“Girl, this guy who works with my sister. We all met up for drinks, and one thing led to another.”
One-night stands aren’t usually Takira’s bag, but we all do things out of character with the right dose of liquor.
“And?” I ask.
“Not worth it. He ain’t halfway know what he was doing.”
I reach under my sink for deodorant. “So it wasn’t good?”
“I described him to my sister as ifplease, God, make it stopwas a person.”
I shake my head and chuckle, but keep it moving because Takira’s disappointing sex will not make me late getting mine.
“Not likemake it stopconsent,” she continues, “but like boredom. Like if I still wore a watch, I woulda been checking it. I mean, it’s a clit. Not a Venn diagram.”
“Oh, my God, T.”
“And afterward he had the nerve to be all… so how was it? Negro, it was two stars. I got your Yelp review right here. Would not recommend and glad I packed my vibrator. Shiiiiiit.”
“Why’d you even… well, you don’t usually go for flash bangs with guys you don’t know, so was he that fine? Or were you—”
“That desperate?” she cuts in, some of the humor fading from the other line. “The holidays are hell sometimes. I’m the only one in our family not married now, and you justfeelit. Everybody’s booed up and got their kids and family pics on Instagram, and running around all elated. I felt like an extra trapped in one of those Hallmark Christmas movies.”
