“Hi.” Neevah looks a little wary, but smiles. “Did they tell you I have a rheumatologist in New York and one who’s been consulting locally since I’ve been here? I told them when I came in that I have discoid lupus and gave them my doctor’s information.”
“Yes, I’ve seen your records and spoken with both rheumatologists.” He hangs the chart on a hook at the foot of the bed. “You’re on top of it.”
“I think we can safely say,” Neevah offers with a wry grin and waves a hand over her hospital bed, “that it is on top of me.”
“I need to discuss what we’re seeing in your case so far.” He glances at Takira and me. “So if we need some privacy—”
“Oh, no.” Neevah squeezes my hand again and smiles at Takira. “They’re fine. They know as much as I do so far, and it’s okay if they hear.”
“Alright.” Dr. Baines nods and adjusts his glasses. “I’ve seen the notes from both your doctors. I’ve seen the blood, urine, and antibodies test results, which prompted them, very wisely, to order a kidney biopsy. You haven’t had that yet, correct?”
“Correct,” Neevah says, a frown knitting her brows. “They wanted to get some of the supplements I take out of my system first.”
“I understand. Your blood pressure was extremely elevated. You were complaining of a headache. You’ve been nauseous.”
“Yes.” Neevah laughs nervously. “Why do I feel like you’re building a case, Doctor?”
His smile is faint and kind. “I’m not building the case. Your body is.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, unable to stay quiet.
“Neevah,” Dr. Baines says. “We won’t know for sure until we get the results from the biopsy, but you’re obviously in the midst of a flare-up. Been under a lot of stress lately?”
Guilt tightens a hand around my throat as I consider what the movie has demanded of her. God, just yesterday I chewed her out for being late.
“Maybe some.” Neevah looks down at the hospital sheet.
“She’s been starring in a movie,” I interject. “For the last four months it’s been rigorous dancing, late nights, a very demanding schedule.”
“You wanna get kicked out?” Neevah asks, the look she shoots me only half-joking.
“He does need the full picture,” Takira says. “So they can know exactly what we’re dealing with.”
Neevah heaves an exasperated sigh. “So maybe there wassomestress, yeah, but nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“I’m sure you’re aware stress is one of the main triggers for flare-ups,”Dr. Baines says. “In talking with your rheumatologists, we suspect your lupus diagnosis has evolved and we may need to broaden the original assessment of what we’re dealing with.”
The corners of Neevah’s eyes tighten. “What does that mean?”
“We won’t know for sure until we see the results of the biopsy,” Dr. Baines says, hesitation obvious in his voice. “Neevah, all signs indicate you’re not just dealing with discoid lupus, but possibly nephritis. Probably systemic lupus, but again, I don’t feel comfortable confirming that until we get the biopsy results.”
Neevah draws a sharp breath, and her fingers tighten around mine, but I don’t give any indication I see her fear. I stroke along the ink decorating her thumb, hoping I can offer some measure of comfort even silently. I’m trying to remain as calm as possible, but inwardly, panic takes off like a runner, sprinting past reason. Evan’s voice echoes in my head and I hear him telling us just this morning that systemic lupus is the life-threatening one, and what a relief that’s not what Neevah has. I’d never heard someone use the phrasesystemic lupusuntil today, and they’re suddenly the most important words in the world.
“No.” Neevah shakes her head, her wig going a little more askew. “Dr. Ansford said… she told me it was discoid.”
“And based on the information your body presented to her a few years ago, even four months ago, that diagnosis was appropriate,” Dr. Baines says. “But a lot has happened over the last four months, and things can escalate very quickly. We can’t say for sure until after the biopsy, so let’s go ahead and get it done so we can see what comes back.”
“Okay.” Neevah stares at the bed with wide, unfocused eyes, like she’s looking at something none of us can see, and I guess she is. Takira and I are here for her, but it’s her body.
It shocks me that I would literally put myself in her place if it meant sparing her the possible road ahead, but the truth of it hits me standing by her bed and watching the fear soak into her eyes. I felt this way with my mom over and over. Watching MS steal so much from her, feeling helpless, but wanting to be strong for her. I don’t know what those test results will tell us, but I do know what it’s like to walk a hard road with someone you love.
I’ve done it before. I can do it again.
FIFTY-SIX
Neevah
There’s a heaviness in the room even before the three doctors say one word. Two of them I know, Dr. Ansford from New York via video conference, and Dr. Baines, the doctor who talked with me a few days ago. I don’t know the third doctor, which instantly puts me a little on the defensive. I’ve been here three days and never seen her. I’ve started the prednisone, the drug I spent the last few years of my life avoiding, and I have to admit, it seems to be helping. My blood pressure is down. I have much more energy and feel somewhat better, but Dr. Baines wanted to keep me for observation until the kidney biopsy results came back.
