Matt (Mail-Order Brides For Christmas)

Jenna: This whole mail-order bride thing is total bullsh*t. I’m not doing it because I’m a free spirit with a pink streak in my hair and a girl band that’s going to take over the world. But my grandparents are old, and they beg me to just meet Matt Mistletoe. It can’t hurt, can it? Little do I know, but Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome’s soon got his sights set on me.

Matt: She’s feisty. She’s curvaceous. And she makes my mouth water as my fingers itch to spank that round a$$. I had every intention of sending Jenna right back to where she’s from, but then the sassy woman sizes me up and calls me a "stuck-up suit.” Are you kidding? Stuck-up? Suit? Please sweetheart, by the time this is over, my suit will be on the ground and you'll be begging for more.