Gilrox the Mercenary's Rules for Retirement

I’m Gilrox Ban-Ver-Mos, rank V guild mercenary, recently retired. New resident of a small, boring planet nobody cares about, which is exactly how I planned it. I have a fishing rod, an animal friend who likes to eat fish eyes, and a quiet, solitary life that doesn’t involve blowing anything up or killing anyone.
My retirement plan did not account for a nearby village and its attractive female council leader who ordered me to leave (spoiler: I didn’t). Or the large, loud, extended family of villagers I did not ask for, but apparently acquired anyway. Or the fact that not everything I’d left behind had finished with me.