‘Take the narrow gate.’
A phrase comes into her mind. ‘Wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction.’ Where did that come from? She still has the pills, in their comforting blister pack, in her hand. She pops the pod and two of the tablets are in her hands.
She swallows them with what’s left of the water.
Nelson sits in his car staring at his phone. He watches Jeremy Stokes leave Vancouver Hall and stop to sanitise his hands, wringing them together for what seems like hours. Then he takes off his mask, revealing a short, grey beard. He rubs sanitiser over his face too, which seems excessive to Nelson, before walking off in the direction of his car, one of those smug hybrid makes.
Cathbad worse. Think it’s the end.
Can this really be how it ends? Cathbad, the fearless druid, felled by a simple virus? Nelson thinks back to the first time he met Cathbad, then a suspect in a murder investigation.
‘You’re very abrupt. Are you a Scorpio?’
Nelson would cheerfully have killed Cathbad himself at that moment despite (or perhaps because of) him getting the star sign right. Later, he and Cathbad had crossed the marshes in a storm. Cathbad had stepped off the path and would probably have drowned if Nelson hadn’t heaved him back to safety.
‘I am in your debt,’ Cathbad had said. ‘The spirits of the ancestors are strong– they are all around us.’
Come on, ancestors, thinks Nelson, do your bit now. It was partly in repayment of this debt that Cathbad had– in his own words– travelled to the dream world to rescue Nelson. Clearer than the campus around him, Nelson sees the dark water, the steps, the stone boat.
‘Don’t let go,’ he’d said to dream Cathbad.
‘I won’t.’
Since then Cathbad has fallen from a great height and landed on a stall selling Slush Puppies, he has saved his son from a kidnapper and accompanied Nelson to an earthquake zone. Surely, he has a few of his nine lives left?
Nelson can’t face giving Ruth the news. She really loves Cathbad and would be lost without the old nutter. Nelson rubs his eyes, which have become strangely wet. The recently applied sanitiser makes them sting. Through a haze of tears, he drives back to the station.
Judy is moving in slow motion. ‘You can FaceTime me,’ said the nurse, ‘and we’ll hold the phone close to his head.’
Judy is dimly aware of the man’s kindness even as she gathers her children together to speak to their father via iPad. They sit in a row on the sofa and Judy dials the number given to her by the nurse, whose name is Abbas. Her hands are shaking too much, so Maddie takes the tablet from her. After a few deft clicks, the screen shows a figure in scrubs, face hidden by a visor.
‘I’m Abbas. I’m going to hold the phone next to Michael. Don’t be distressed at his appearance. The tubes are to help him breathe.’
‘Michael?’ thinks Judy. But Michael is here next to her. She can feel him sobbing quietly, unlike Miranda on the other side who is almost howling. Then she remembers; Cathbad’s baptismal name of Michael Malone must be on his medical records.
‘Cathbad,’ she says, ‘everyone calls him Cathbad.’
‘That’s useful to know,’ says Abbas. ‘We’ll call him Cathbad from now on. We won’t leave him alone, I promise. There’ll always be someone with him.’ Judy can’t see Abbas’s face because of the mask and visor but his voice is calm and comforting. Judy wonders how many hours he’s worked that day and how many deathbeds he has attended.
Then the screen shows a man with a mask covering most of his face, tubes snaking out from his mouth and nose. His long grey hair is spread out on the pillow.
‘Cathbad,’ says Judy. ‘It’s me, Judy. I’m here with Maddie, Michael and Miranda.’
‘Hallo, Dad,’ says Maddie.
‘Tell Daddy how much you love him,’ says Judy to her children. She has one thought in her head: the children must not look back on this moment with regret. With sadness, yes, but they must not regret what hasn’t been said. They need to tell Cathbad that they love him. But Michael and Miranda are crying too much now to make any sense. It’s up to Maddie to say, in her sweet clear voice, ‘We all love you so much, Dad.’ Maddie, who lost her little sister when she was still a child, is she about to lose her father too?
‘Stay strong, Cathbad,’ says Judy. ‘I’m praying to all the saints and all the spirits. I’ll even become a druid if it helps. Nelson sends his love and Ruth too.’ Universal energy, Cathbad called it. Is it enough?
Do Cathbad’s eyes flicker? Is he remembering travelling to the dream realm with Nelson?
‘Abbas is looking after you,’ says Judy. ‘All the doctors and nurses.’
‘Thing,’ says Michael suddenly. ‘He needs to say goodbye.’
Saying goodbye. Is that what they are doing?
Ruth has the strangest feeling, all afternoon, that someone is watching her. Corbyn is sitting on the fence, watching her out of his bright, dark eyes. Is he a warning or a messenger?
