“Then what’s going on? Don’t try and deny you’re upset about something,” she insisted, not letting up.
“Let’s talk about this later. Can we head out?” This wasn’t the time and certainly not the place.
“Why, so you can sit and stew on the drive to Greenwich?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t think so.”
“Look, Gillian, I’m not used to discussing my feelings with someone. I’ve lived for over a century alone. I’m not going to change. I don’t do relationships.” Granted, he sounded like a bastard, but it might be the only way to make a clean break without prolonging her pain.
“I didn’t think you’d cave so quickly.” Her voice sounded shaky. “This must be some kind of record, even for you.” Her eyes filled with tears, and it made his chest ache.
“We don’t need to do this right now. There’s a big night ahead. Let’s dispense with the drama.” He wished he could backtrack and tell her everything would be okay, but he couldn’t find it in him to lie. Better to hear it now. He should’ve never gotten involved with her in the first place. She was young and beautiful with her whole life ahead of her. She deserved a real flesh and blood man, not a monster.
“Is that what this is to you, drama? After last night, and all the time we spent together? I thought I meant something to you. I guess I was wrong. I didn’t realize you only have sex with no strings attached. Why not just say the words, Garrett?” Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she let out a hiccup.
“Gillian,” he whispered, her name clogging in his throat.
He wanted to take her in his arms and pull her to his chest, swallow every tear with a kiss, and make love to her for hours on end. Wipe all doubts from her mind. But what would be the point? She’d only resent him in the end. He’d rather live with her anger than her disappointment.
“You’re a god damn coward,” she railed, swiping at her tears.
He couldn’t imagine another day without her, let alone a lifetime. He couldn’t bear the pain. How would he get over this…over her? “You’re right. I am a coward. Whatever we shared was well, unexpected, and I’m afraid it has to end.”
She was crying hard now, deep sobs from the soul. “It was unexpected? Is that the best you’ve got?”
A young, uniformed officer walked over, one that Garrett didn’t recognize. His scrutinizing gaze roamed over Garrett before he turned to Gillian, a look of concern etched on his face. “Is this vampire bothering you, miss?”
“I think we got it covered. You can get lost,” Garrett muttered, his anger getting the best of him.
The cop rounded on him and took a step closer. “Excuse me? I need to see some ID.”
Garrett cursed under his breath and flashed his badge. “This is a private matter, Officer.”
“My apologies, Detective. If you need anything, miss, you let me know.”
After the cop walked away, Gillian looked up at him with tears still in her eyes. “I’m not driving over to the party with you. I’m calling Natalya to see if I can ride with her.”
Garrett took a step closer to her and let out a ragged breath. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. “You can’t change the plan, Gillian. You’re supposed to be driving to the party with me. Even if you’re upset and angry, you’re not in a position to make that call.”
“Try and stop me. I already have on my costume and I have the potion. I refuse to sit in a confined space with you.” She started to walk away and he stopped her by reaching for her hand.
“Gillian, please don’t walk away, not like this.” If only Garrett could go back in time when he held her in his arms, for that sliver of time, everything seemed right in the world.
“You’re just trying to push me away, afraid to make a real commitment, to see where this takes us. I don’t care if you’re a vampire, or if our time together is short. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Her words flayed him open. This need for her was growing into an all-out obsession, which was why he needed to let her go. “You say that now, but I couldn’t have you wasting precious years on me.”
“You’re giving up on us because of some misplaced moral code?” She shook her head in confusion, and he felt her pain, a feeling of deep sorrow that tore through the center of his chest.
“Don’t you see? I have nothing to offer you. I couldn’t give you what you want. It would be selfish. The woman I told you about, Lilly, the one from my village, what I didn’t tell you last night was that she still wanted to be with me, even when she realized I became a vampire. She said nothing could keep us apart.”
“Why do you make it sound like a bad thing?” she said in a soft voice.
“Trust me, it was. After I watched my family die, I clung to the last shreds of my humanity, and part of that was holding onto Lilly. Eventually, she grew concerned about how people would perceive our relationship. I was weak and still devastated from losing the people I loved most in the world. I looked forward to those few stolen moments I shared with Lilly. I agreed to live and love her for the time we had.”
Gillian glanced down at the handkerchief, still gripped tightly in her hands, before her eyes met his once more. “What tore you apart?”
“She became consumed with finding a way for us to be together forever. She needed an Ancient to turn her, so she went to Malcom. Of course, he was happy to oblige. It became a conquest for him, and another way to destroy me. Very few people can take the pain during the transition. Most humans die, which is why there are so few of us in the grand scheme of things. Lilly succumbed to the toll it took on her body. Don’t you see? Her blood is on my hands.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Garrett,” she whispered and placed a hand on his cheek. “It’s not like you forced her. She made the choice herself.”
