Viktor growls in his direction before glaring toward Max. With his fists coiled he says, “You let one hair on her fucking head get overturned and I’ll kill you… for real this time.”
I try not to stare, but I can’t help myself. I spent years so in love with this man I’d have killed someone for him. Though, I’m not sure that would’ve meant as much in his line of business. People kill each other all the time.
It’s strange when you don’t see someone you love for that long. It’s almost like you begin to imagine things about them that weren’t there to begin with. You start seeing them on a pedestal and before long you’re worshipping the ground they walked on. In reality, Max and I had issues like everyone else. Hell, we’d fought the night he disappeared. But seeing him again, it’s like all of the ideals, all of the realities, everything has washed clean and all that’s left is this version of him that I’m not sure I know.
I remember it happening when my parents died. They weren’t perfect, they were drunk most nights of the week. And they were drunk the night their car crashed, but for years I painted them in this light that was nearlyLittle House on the Prairie. The therapist told me how common that was. She said we idealize people after they pass as a way to cope with the pain. Doesn’t make much sense to me considering it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier to remember my parents were drunks, but I digress.
Max glances toward me. “You okay?”
“I think,” I say, clearing my throat. “It’s just crazy to see you again. I guess I wish it were under different circumstances.”
“You and me both.”
“Thank you though… for saving me, I mean. You…” It’s like talking to a stranger. A stranger who’s face I’ve kissed a million times. “You didn’t have to come back. You could’ve let your father’s men do the job.”
“I’m a lot of things, but I’d never let anything happen to the people I love.” He runs his hand back through his hair. “The guy’s a fucking asshole, but he’s my brother.”
“You two seemed like you hated each other in the parking lot. I figured—”
“Hate and love, you know… pretty close together.”
“You love your father too?”
“Fuck no. That’s not even hate. That’s a big black hole of nothing. That man is vial. He’d have a crate of puppies killed and watch it happen… for fun.”
I nod, keeping silent as my brain registers seeing his face with his voice again.
“So what’s with Viktor and Ryan? Are you guys all like a thing? They seem pretty possessive over you.”
“Weird isn’t it? I don’t know what we are. So far, we’re three people who seem to be getting in ass tons of trouble together.”
“I knew Viktor had feelings for you, I just didn’t think he’d act on them. You know… the whole brotherly code thing.”
“You’ve been gone for three years. I’m not sure any of us thought you were coming back.”
“Still, are you supposed to move on with your brother’s fiancé? Who came first, Ryan or Viktor?”
“Ryan. From what I gather, Viktor hired him to watch me after you ran. Viktor and I just officially met a week ago. I thought I was seeing your ghost.”
He reaches toward me, and I don’t flinch away. I let his large hand graze my thigh the way it had years ago. He glances toward me. “Fuck, I’ve missed you, Evie. I’ve missed everything about you.” His words are so emotion filled that I hear the croak in his throat when he speaks. His hand squeezes my bare thigh and a shock of pent-up energy releases.
“I missed you too,” I say, turning toward him.
He’s trying to keep his eyes on the road, but I see he’s struggling. He wants them on me, and I desperately want mine on his. A part of my body knows I still belong to him, that I always will. I look toward him and hold out my hand, my skin aching for him to touch me.
“I’m not sure where this can go.” I brush my hair back and return my body to face the windshield.
“What happened? Why can’t this go anywhere? We had something special, Evie.”
I laugh. “Where exactly do you see this going? Max, I love you. I never stopped loving you, but you left. You left for three years. I’m already in this weird love triangle, polyamory thing with Ryan and Viktor. And as you can see… your brother is possessive as hell. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to choke down another man.” I pause. “I have feelings for them. Complicated… but very real feelings.”
He stays silent, his gaze stoically forward, his hand never leaving my thigh. “I thought I was saving you, Evie. I thought you were better off without me. I didn’t want to leave.” He lets go of a heavy breath. His tone is low and husky and there’s a softness to his eyes that puts me at ease. “I really thought you’d come find me,” he sighs. “I thought you’d be cleaning the apartment a month or two after I was gone and you’d see it, the envelope, the address, everything.”
“I’m kind of surprised your dad didn’t find it first.”
“He has his goons do all that work. They probably sacked the place in one lazy turn and left.” He glances toward me, holding my hand tight in his, the scent of spice in his cologne familiar and warm. It would be so easy to fall against him again, to let him take away every fear I have… but I can’t. I can’t care for any of these men. I have to push it all away.
“What are you thinking?” He squeezes my hand. “Talk to me.”
