“So a little over a month, then. And you don’t think you can forgive him?”
“I don’t. I tried justifying why he would sleep with someone else, but I can’t. I’m so angry with him.”
“As you should be. That’s a broken trust that will be hard to fix. Is that even what you want?”
I exhale loudly. “I want to forgive him, but I can’t.”
She’s silent for a while before she grabs my hand. “I get that.”
“I want to hate him. Ishouldhate him. What’s saying he won’t do it again? He runs, Haley. When things get tough, he’s gone.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Of course I do. He’s done it plenty in the past. He did it a few months ago. Now he’s back, just hoping I’ll forgive him.”
“I don’t think you should up and forgive him. He should fight to re-earn your trust. You don’t get to just hand it back to him and have everything be okay. But if you think you’ll be happier with him than without, isn’t that worth trying to make it work?”
I swallow, knowing she’s right. My chest hurts when I’m not with him. Simple math becomes too hard for me, and filling prescriptions gets to be a chore. Paddy is the only thing that’s ever on my mind. Paddy and all the ways he’s done me wrong.
The cheating, the lying. Now, even the groveling. “He can’t even apologize to me properly.”
Haley laughs. “What do you mean?”
“He bought me a car yesterday. I don’t want apology gifts.” My jaw tightens, irritated all over again.
“What do you want?” Haley asks. “Callum buys me things and I quite enjoy it.”
“I can buy myself a car. I want him to get down on his knees, and beg for forgiveness. He needs to tell me how worthless he is. I want the King of the Mob to kiss my feet while he kneels before me, and I want him to tell me that without me he’s dead inside. And then I want him to choke on my cock while I tell him what a piece of shit he is. Then, and only then, I’ll think about taking his sorry ass back.”
Haley spits out the wine she’s sipping, coughing on whatever’s gone down the wrong pipe. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “That’s oddly specific, slightly terrifying, and a little bit hot.”
I choke out a forced laugh. “Yeah. I’m a little fucked up in the head when it comes to all the ways I want to torture Patrick Murphy.”
“Have you told him any of this?”
I shake my head.
“You should.” She stands, beginning to collect the food and blanket. “I’ve got to get going. Saoirse is bringing by some stuff I have to sign for the shelter.”
Saoirse has been in Seattle managing the building of a foundation that Callum created in honor of Haley and her late twin sister. She’s been coming back and forth, and I’m not sure how she handles traveling across the country so often. Especially with having such a demanding brother.
“Fine, leave me to wallow in my misery.” I complain, but I’m sitting up anyway, helping her clean up our mess.
Haley shoots me a concerned look. “You told me what’s been bothering you. I’d say that’s progress in your misery.”
I grin, taking her into a hug. “Thanks for listening.”
“Thanks for finally sharing,” she whispers, kissing me on the cheek.
Chapter Two
“Canyoupleaseputthe phone down and pay attention?” Camille’s agitation shines through the question, though she’s trying her best to sound sweet.
I can sense her irritation with me in the tone she’s using.
God, even her voice gets on my last nerve. And the guilt of that thought eats away at me as I stare at my phone. Because I haven’t been paying attention to her. I haven’t shown the least bit of affection that she deserves. My mind’s been preoccupied with Griffin and the updates from Scotty.
“Patrick?”
