The elevator doors don’t open with their usualping, instead, the sound effect is the one of Mario capturing the flag. A large grab machine stands in front of us with turnstile entrances and exits on both sides. Kian pulls out his wallet and inserts the amount for three all-level access wristbands and presses the button on the bar. The claw moves of its own volition, scooping up a plastic ball before dropping it into the collection area. It does the same twice more, and when it’s done, we pop open the balls and put our wristbands on.
“Ready?” Kian asks, and at my nod, we walk through into level one. I pull to a stop so I can have a good look around. There are games everywhere—for as far as the eye can see. It’s a retro gamer’s dream come true. From Pac-Man to Duck Hunt, every version of Mario to every version of Sonic, you’ll find it here.
My gaze darts between shooting games and driving games, air guitar, and dance mats. There are even Skee Ball machines, air hockey, and pinball machines.
“Oh my god,” I breathe as I spin around to take it all in. Linking my arms with theirs, I grin up at them, excitement coursing through me. “I love it!”
We walk around, checking out the different games. One catches my eye, and my heart pumps faster. Dragging the guys with me, I come to a stop at MotoGP, a ride-on motorcycle racing simulator. “Bet I’ll kick your ass,” I tease them as I throw a leg over the bike.
“You’re on.”
I kick both their asses. I circle around them, waving my arms, making cheering noises. Kian ruffles my hair. “Just wait, Dutch. I’ll kick your ass next time.”
“Sure you will.”
“Bet?”
“How much?”
He narrows his eyes and purses his lips. “Why do I get the feeling you might be trying to hustle me?”
“No trying about it.”
“I see.”
“So you do.”
We spend the next hour going from game to game, trying ones from before we were born, laughing and joking as we do our best to outperform each other. We finally take a break from the heady competition and work our way over to the dining area. Several concession stands circle a row of picnic tables. “What would you like?” Jase asks.
“Nachos and a Heineken please.” While they go get the food, I grab a table, doing a little people watching as I wait. The pimply teenager serving at the churro stand looks like he could be straight out of The Simpsons, while a woman standing outside of a photo booth screeches at a young couple who were just inside.
Shaking my head, I scan the room, but there’s nothing else of interest. Except for Kian’s hand in Jase’s pocket. Blinking rapidly, I pretend I didn’t see, and feign interest in the menu overlooking one of the stands.
They’re back with the food in no time at all, and it’s their turn to ask me my story. I tell them what it was like growing up in Vincenzo’s house, explaining the cages in the basement and the various punishments. I tell them about my mom, and how Uncle Harris rescued me. How I became an FBI agent in order to help take my father down.
They listen raptly, asking questions, and by the time we’re finished eating—and I’ve gone back for a second and third beer to get through the story—we put aside heavy conversations and head toward the elevators to check out level two.
This time, the inside is almost completely black while a game ofSpace Invadersplays out on the screen covering the back wall.
We come out into the lobby, and I gasp in delight. Level two is laser tag. Kian explains that the entire floor is sectioned off into eight rooms with a seated waiting area in the middle for anyone not playing. Each room has a different theme. One is based off the planet Endor, complete with realistic-looking fake trees, Ewoks hiding in bushes, and the sounds of TIE fighters flying past.
Another is based onBack to the Future, where you fight alongside a DeLorean and hoverboards.
Yet another one leads you into a cave where arrows whistle over your head while Indiana Jones hangs from the ceiling, preventing a huge boulder from crushing you.
If level one is a gamer’s paradise, level two is a nerd’s.
We end up choosing Endor. We can choose various armor, and while I dress like a native Endorian—is that a word?—Jase chooses a Stormtrooper, and Kian goes as Chewbacca. I silently laugh to myself that Jase has chosen the one outfit most likely to stand out, and I wager a bet that he’ll be the first one out.
The attendant advises that we get half an hour in the room, then hands us our laser guns and sends us out into the forests of Endor. We split up after agreeing on a thirty-second head start.
This place is fucking amazing. Since I’m a closet Star Wars fan, this calls to the nerd I keep buried very far down. It looks like it’s right off the movie set, and the first thing I do is climb a tree. Those idiots will never find me up here, while I can just pick them off as they pass.
Guess what? They find me. It’s almost as if they’re highly trained assassins or something. Bastards.
But not before I light up several lights on their panels. Scampering out of the tree, I dive into some bushes, nearly knocking over a mommy Ewok and her baby. “Sorry!” I whisper, melting into the shadows.
Jase creaks by in his uniform, and I snort, quickly covering my mouth. Not only is he loud, but a shining white beacon in the dark forest. He didn’t think that one through. I leap out sideways, laser gun blazing as I fall to the ground, lighting up the last two lights on his panel.
