"Look, I know you guys aren't big on violence, so I'd rather not slash my way through you," I said like a reasonable being.
Sure, I killed people who didn't deserve it, and I enjoyed every second, but I was weirdly against hurting these nudist pacifists. They caged me, but they never once drew blood or even gave me a bruise. Sashimi Girl was also completely in love with me. It would be a shame to kill someone so adoring.
"So if you’d just scoot out of the way, I'll be off. Nice knowing you all." I gave the nudists a little wave. "Enjoy your orgies. And babe," I added, looking at Sashimi Girl, "you've gotta move on. Don't spend your life missing me."
"You touched my wife?" Massive Schlong, my intended, said, rising slowly to his feet.
Sashimi Girl shook her head fast, her eyes wide and panicked.
"In her defence, she onlytriedto seduce me. It didn't work."
I edged away, aiming for the exit. The leader didn't miss my retreat, but I held my knife up in warning. I wouldn't hesitate to cut my way out of this place. I wasn't surprised when she moved her body to cover the door, the other fiery fuckers stepping aside to let her handle it.
"Alright," I said, shrugging. "The fun way it is. Shame I haven't got any candy floss, but you guys stole my backpack. Can I have that back, by the way?"
She lunged at me, massive swords growing from her fiery hands, both swinging dangerously close to me.
Holy hellfire!
I jumped over one and threw myself out of the path of the second with a manic laugh. "I'll take that as a no."
"You willnotleave," she growled, a clear order.
"It's really sweet you think I'll listen to you," I told her genuinely, and waited for her to swing the swords again.8When one arced toward me, I ducked under it and, in a move that reminded me painfully of training sessions with my dad, I slashed my dark blade across her ribs before plunging it into her kidney.
Well, if these fire fuckers had their organs in the same place. Who knew what was going on inside there?
"You willnot," she seethed, flames falling from her hands, one sword collapsing before she slapped her palm on the wound I opened.
"Leave?" I finished, jumping aside as her remaining sword slashed at me. "Yeah, I got that memo. Screwed it up into a tiny ball and threw it out the window. I'm leaving, nothing you can do about it."
Her eyes flared, and a strange smile crossed her mouth. "You're an ideal daughter."
Oh goody, she liked a fighter.
"Don'tyoubecome obsessed with me too," I groaned, darting forward with my knife and cutting a line on her shoulder I knew would sting like a bitch.
She hissed and retreated a step, and I used it to position myself closer to the door.
"I need a strong woman who'll protect my son and respect my authority,"
"There, see, I'd be awful at the latter. You're better off without me, honestly."
I dropped to my knees and slid under her sword when she aimed it at my shoulder—all non-lethal strikes, I noticed. She was only trying to get me to back up and stay, while I was trying to get her to move out of the damn way.
Momentum carried me around her back, but the badass move wasn't without cost: the ground bruised my knees even through the leather, scuffing my pants worryingly. I came up close enough to the exit that my heart pounded.
"Just out of curiosity," I asked, ducking to avoid the leader's sharp fiery swordhand, "Do you want the devil dead?"
The leader gave me a strange look, a laugh in her throat. "No—are you mad? His reign keeps us unbothered and undisturbed in this space. Without him, people would try to claim these caves for themselves."
And because most of the fiery fuckers didn't fight, they'd be slaughtered…
"So … you're all on Team Devil? No current plans to kill him?"
The leader spat on the ground, and I jumped back, afraid I'd get rabies. "We're nothing like those traitors."
"Ooh, so you've heard of them?" I asked, knocking aside her messy swing with my glass dagger, mildly impressed it didn't even think about shattering. Dev's gifts were nice,veryfucking nice. I could get used to being spoiled like this. "Any idea who they are?"
