But now I was bored, and growing tired of the tiny space I had to sit in. And there was only so many times you could see a dick or tit swinging around before the novelty wore off.
"No thanks," I said, lifting my hands as the fire-wreathed woman who'd glued herself to my side1passed another slice of sashimi through the wooden bars. "I'm good, you can have the rest."
She waved the pink slice of fish at me, insistent, but I crossed my arms and matched her stubbornness. Since she started guarding me, I'd realised two things—one, this band wasobsessedwith sex, and two, Sashimi Girl here thought she was getting lucky with me.
I politely explained that I preferred cock, and I thought I'd got through to her yesterday when she left me alone. But she’d returned two minutes later with a broad-shouldered flame guy with a monster cock hanging between powerful dark thighs, and very clearly gestured from me to her to him.We'll share one,she offered excitedly.
She left me no choice. I'd been forced to mime a massive bump over my stomach and then proceeded to act out a grumpy general storming around, swinging a sword2and giving orders.
She seemed to understand at least a third of it, and backed off from the threesome offer, but she stayed glued to my side and ignored the pissy looks the rest of the community gave her. For some reason, they didn't like her attempts to seduce me.
"Look, if I ever have a grand, sexual awakening," I said when she sadly ate the slice of sashimi herself, "you're the first girl I'm coming to." I paused. "Or coming with. But y'know, semantics. Until then, I'm firmly Team Monster Cock."
Ugggghhh, she looked so sad, her blue eyes big and pleading within her column of fire. I was herprisoner, locked up and fed scraps of fish3and here I was feeling sorry for the woman. Damn my selfless, sympathetic heart.4
I rolled my eyes when Sashimi Girl stood and crossed the wide cavern to where more food waited around the fire, no doubt trying to seduce me with something different. But a loud surge of chattering came from the cave entrance, almost like a warning, and I pushed to my feet in alarm when every single fire fucker in the cave began talking at once.
"What's going on?" I asked, not expecting an answer.
When the pitch and volume of their chattering grew, and I caught sight of panicked expressions through their bright yellow fire, I muttered, "Fuck this," and knelt, digging at the dirt around one of the poles.
Even though the pole was massive, it was pathetically easy to loosen it and then kick it into a drunk slant, giving me enough room to squeeze out of the cage. These guys were really bad at kidnapping people, huh? They hadn't even bound my hands. They’d only successfully trapped me because I was exactly where I wanted to be: spying on them.
I ran my fingers over my invisible knife, which they hadn't confiscated, and watched as my captors flew around in a panic. I frowned when one of them got out a broom and now swept the floor, others tidying away half-eaten bowls of fish soup, and someone obsessively cleaning the flat slab of stone at the entrance to the cave.
"Huh."
It was like they just got a text saying their mother-in-law was coming over for a cuppa.
I hung back and watched, partly because the exit was blocked by their frantic motion, but mostly because I was curious to see how this played out. Dev would be pissed when I got back to the fortress late, but I was pretty sure these guys weren't planning his downfall. They were way too busy sitting around the fire and cooking food, painting elaborate works with finger smudges, and screwing each other on every available surface. It was like one big swingers’ orgy. Good for them.
I thought I managed to sneak out of my cage unnoticed until a bulky woman covered in yellow fire bleated a high pitched sound, and they all jolted, turning to look at me.
I wiggled my fingers in a wave—and hissed a vulgar word when five columns of fire rushed at me, grabby hands outstretched.
"Leader," Sashimi Girl said, startling me with her husky voice. "Leader."
She pointed at the entrance. Ah, their leader was coming. Got it. I gave her a double thumbs up—and then spat a string of creative insults when the others reached for me, fiery hands brushing my shoulder, my stomach, my back.
It took me a second to realise they weren't hurting or groping me—they were trying to pull my clothes off.
"I don't think so," I huffed, slicing down with the heel of my hand and knocking theirs aside, pricking my arm with the tip of my glass knife for a drop of blood.
They all jumped back at the sudden appearance of the smoky dagger, and I smiled, gesturing for space with the sharp tip.
"Look, guys, I've got absolutely nothing against your nudist lifestyle. If you want your bits blowing in the wind, that's your choice. But mine are staying inside the leather, yeah?"
"Leader," Sushi Girl pleaded, urgency showing in her eyes when the fire around them thinned further. She gestured for me to take my clothes off, and my stare flattened.
Their leader was coming, so I had to get naked? Yeah, no thanks.
But it proposed an interesting question—was the leader coming because of me? To kill me personally? Or to indict me into their plan to kill the devil?
I hoped it was the latter, because I was looking forward to waltzing back into Dev's throne room all smug and proud.
But, a little voice said,if these are the people trying to kill the royals, they're working with Eidolon. Your dad.
I winced. Yeah, good point.
