It suddenly hit me how long it had been since I’d been touched like this. And I just wanted more.
No!This was so fucking bad. I had to stop this.
I ripped my mouth away from his and placed a hand over it in shock at myself.
“I’m so sorry. We can’t. I can’t…” I apologized, pushing Darren out of the way so I could hop down from the counter.
“Wait. Sophia,” Darren began, but I held a hand up to silence whatever protest he was about to make and quickly grabbed my crutches.
“This is on me. I shouldn’t have done that,” I told him, feeling so much shame at my lack of control.
Leaning on my crutches, I hobbled away as fast as I could, wanting nothing more than to just shove my face into a pillow and smother away the embarrassment at what I’d just done.
I’d only gotten to the edge of the stairs when Darren wrapped his arms around my waist and hoisted me into the air, making me squeal in surprise and drop my crutches.
“You’re not running away that easily, darlin,” he told me, walking me over to the couch and setting me back on my feet. He turned me and gently shoved me down onto the couch, sitting himself on the coffee table across from me.
“Okay, I don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, but you don’t have to tell me,” he started, grabbing my hands in his. “I don’t regret that kiss, though I am sorry if you weren’t ready for it.”
I sighed in defeat, knowing I couldn’t let him feel like he’d done something wrong. I needed to just fess up to everything.
“It’s not that. Darren, you and the others have been so good to me. But I need to be honest with you.”
He slid forward more and stared at me intently, giving his full attention.
“You can tell me anything,” he assured me.
Taking a deep breath in and out, I spit it out as fast as I could. “I have feelings for all of you. Like more than friends type feelings. Also, I kissed Porter when he found Smoky. It just happened and now I feel guilty for that and for kissing you, and I’m just all mixed up about it.”
Wanting Darren to just process everything I’d blurted out, I sat in silence, my eyes never leaving his face. Shockingly though, not once did his expression change. It was calm and collected with not an ounce of surprise.
“I know about you kissing Porter.”
The admission floored me. “What?”
Darren smiled and lifted my hands, kissing them both. “Porter is just as much my brother as Alden. He told me after it happened. We were going to talk to you about it, but then this happened and I don’t want you worrying for no reason. I don’t know where Alden is at with all this, but Porter and I agreed to let you set the pace on whateverthisis. Let you decide who you do or don’t feel something for.”
Thishadto be a dream. It just had to be. He wasn’t upset about me kissing Porter then him. But what did he mean by deciding?
“Do you mean you want me to date you both then choose between you?”
Darren shrugged. “Whatever you want. You can choose one of us or both of us. We will go with whatever you decide.”
My eyes bugged out. “Both? That wouldn’t be weird for you?” Was it selfish to want them both? Wouldn’t that look terrible to be with them both? And what about Alden? Nothing had happened between us, but I did have feelings for him too.
God. I’m so messed up.
“I can practically hear those gears turning. Listen,” he locked eyes with me, “Don’t stress anything right now. We’ll all talk when you’re ready to. For now, I want to take you somewhere. The guys and I agreed you might enjoy it.”
I cocked my head curiously. “Okay. Where?”
“The station. My dad has been bugging us to bring you by since he heard you were up on your feet now.”
The weight in my chest eased a bit. “I’d love that. I had no idea your dad was still with the department.”
Darren grinned broadly and stood, pulling me up to stand with him. “He’s our Fire Chief now. So go get ready and we’ll head over.”
The idea of seeing their dad again, who I remembered being like an uncle figure in my life as a kid, excited me. There was still so much to figure out with Darren, Porter, and Alden, but his suggestion to visit the fire station definitely made me feel better to an extent.
