“Strange? In what way?”
“Oh you know, like a man who had great sex and wants more but isn’t getting any; all mean and moody. It was great I presume?” she asked, her brows arching.
For a few seconds I thought about abstaining from answering, but the thing was I actually wanted to talk about it. I didn’t really have anyone to discuss the mind blowing sex with. My sister was too caught up in her own life to have time to listen to me, and Angie and I didn’t really have that sort of relationship – it was purely employer and employee. As for my mum, well that conversation definitely wasn’t happening.
“It was awesome,” I rushed out. “He was awesome.”
Heat flooded my veins as I thought back to that night and how Sam had almost made me see stars with the orgasms that he’d given me. The first time had been hard and fast, making me scream, but the second time when I’d woken up sleepy and horny, it had been soft, slow and so, so good with me on top. I’d taken it for what it was though; sex between two people who just wanted comfort from each other, but it had still been better than I’d ever had before, including my night with Sam all those years before.
“If it runs in the family then I’m pretty sure I know how good it was,” Amy giggled. “And not that I really want to discuss my brother-in-law’s prowess in too much depth, but is it something you’d want to repeat?”
I dropped my head to the table and groaned.
“Well?”
I squinted up at her. “Yes, but I’m scared,” I replied, sitting back upright.
“What of? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“God, no.” I huffed out a breath. “I’m just scared that if I let myself trust him and start something with him, we won’t work and then I’ll have to tell Frankie. Can you imagine how he’d feel, thinking he was finally getting a mum and a dad who were actually together, and then being told it’s back to being just me and him, maybe with Sam at weekends; if he’d even stick around.”
Amy’s eyes narrowed. “He wouldn’t do that to Frankie, not again. We can all see how hard he’s trying and how much he wants to be Frankie’s dad.”
“I know you believe that, Amy, and you’re right, he is trying, but you have to see it from my point of view. He hasn’t always wanted to be Frankie’s dad, don’t forget.”
Amy let out a long sigh, pushed her glass away and placed her palms face down on the table. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and when she opened them I saw pain and regret in them.
“You know about me and Elijah, what happened all those years ago?”
I nodded.
“And I’m guessing you know that I’d lost a baby a few months before.”
Again I nodded.
“Well you know that when I left, Sam had to deal with all that pain that Elijah was feeling. Elijah told me that Sam was the one who held him together, the one who made sure he didn’t go under and drown in the grief of losing not only the baby but me too. Then you told him you were pregnant.”
“Yes, I understand all that but-.”
“Yeah, I know you do and I’m guessing you also know what he went through with that sick woman who was his swimming coach.” She glanced at the door and then leaned closer. “You know what she put him through, making him believe he was going to be a dad. Even though it had happened years before, I don’t think he ever dealt with it because he never told anyone about it. He only told Eli a couple of weeks ago, so all of that was still inside him when you told him about Frankie. He had seen what losing a child had done to his brother and how our split broke him even more, so I just think it was all too much for Sam. I’m not making excuses for him Maisie, but I do think you need to take it all into consideration.”
She was right, Sam had been through a lot, but being a single parent hadn’t exactly been plain sailing. To experience it all must have been hard for him though and I wasn’t totally heartless.
“I do feel for him,” I whispered. “I just need to be sure for Frankie’s sake.”
Amy nodded and squeezed my hand. “I know.”
“Mum, Mum.”
Frankie suddenly came charging through the patio doors, shouting excitedly.
“Hey, where’s the fire?” I asked, grinning at the sight of his sweaty, happy face.
“Can I stay over at Uncle Elijah’s and Auntie Amy’s one night please? Uncle Elijah said I could. He’s got all the Only Fools & Horses DVDs. Dad said I had to ask you,” he said breathlessly.
He looked so happy and it was all to do with having a dad and an uncle who he could look up to. He loved my dad, but he wasn’t cool like Sam and Elijah and he certainly didn’t like Northern Soul music or Only Fools & Horses. Plus, there was the small matter of his cute little cousin who he had instantly fallen in love with.
“As long as it’s okay with Auntie Amy too.”
