I held my breath, watching them both carefully, wondering whether this was to be the shortest lived reunion ever.
Sam blinked slowly and shook his head. “No Frankie it isn’t. I treated your mum badly and told her I wasn’t ready to be a dad, but I want you to know that it wasn’t you specifically I didn’t want, I didn’t want any child.”
Frankie tilted his head and studied Sam thoughtfully, and I took it as a good sign that he left his hand in his. Finally, he took a deep breath and took a step forward.
“Why did you change your mind? Is it because you want to take Mummy on a date?”
I gasped and opened my mouth to deny anything of the sort, but Sam flashed me a look that begged me to let him speak.
“No. I changed my mind because I realised I’d been wrong all those years ago. I realised what an idiot I’d been because you are the best little boy I have ever known. You’re funny, clever, and brave, and you have great taste in music.”
Sam gave a quiet laugh, but Frankie didn’t respond, remaining impassive as he watched Sam.
“Why were you an idiot?”
“Frankie, that’s rude to call Sam an idiot,” I admonished.
Frankie turned to me and shrugged. “He said it first.”
“Frankie’s right,” Sam said. “I was an idiot and it was because of something that happened to me.” When Frankie opened his mouth, probably to ask what had happened to him, Sam held his hand up and continued.
“I’m not going to tell you what that was, not yet, maybe when you’re older, but it made me think stupid things and act stupidly. Spending time with you though, has shown me how much I’ve missed and I really regret that.”
“If you’re going to be my dad does that mean you’re going to live here with us?”
I sagged back in my chair, desperately not wanting Frankie to think that we were suddenly going to become a family. I knew after the night we’d had together I was falling for Sam all over again, but I had to protect my heart in order to protect my son’s, which was why Sam and I couldn’t happen – not unless I trusted that he truly wanted us for life.
“No buddy,” Sam said with a little smirk on his lips. “Not all mum and dad’s live together.”
“But you like Mummy, I know you do. You told me you wanted to take her out on a date one day and I said you could.”
“What?” I asked shocked. “And who said it’s up to you?”
Frankie shrugged one shoulder. “I just thought as the man of the house, I should give him permission.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and knew exactly why Samuel Cooper had fallen in love with his son; how could he not.
“The point is,” Sam said trying to hide a grin, “it’s not enough to like someone. You need to love them to live together.”
“So you don’t love me? Is that why you won’t live here?”
The colour drained instantly from Sam’s face and he looked as though he’d been punched in his stomach.
“Of course I do,” he replied vehemently, pulling Frankie to him. “I am so sorry that I haven’t been in your life, but I’m here now and I love you, don’t ever forget that.”
Sam’s arm moved tentatively toward Frankie and he hesitated for a few seconds before pulling him into a hug. Clutching him to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around his son’s small body, I watched with tears stinging my eyes as Frankie hugged him back. As he laid his head on Sam’s shoulder, Sam buried his nose in his hair and breathed him in and closed his eyes as he relished every moment.
Their hug lasted a couple of minutes and I almost wanted to tiptoe from the room, feeling like an intruder on their moment, but I couldn’t drag myself away. The scene in front of me was what I’d wanted for my son from the moment he’d let out his first cry. There’d been a time when I thought Josh might have provided him with the fatherly security he needed, but I’d been so wrong on that one. I just hoped I wasn’t wrong this time.
Frankie was the first to pull away and I had to smile when Sam seemed a little reluctant to let him go – oh how things had changed in a few short weeks.
“Do I get to meet my other Nanna and Grandad now?” he asked.
“If you want to.” Sam’s voice was a little tight.
“You don’t want him to?” I asked, hoping Sam wasn’t already about to let him down.
“God, yeah. I just know my mum is going to freak out and go crazy with grandma hugs and kisses. I’m not sure Frankie will be up to it.”
