As soon as he’d gone, I rushed up the stairs two at a time to find Maisie. She was sitting on the end of Frankie’s bed, staring through his bedroom window into the darkening street outside. It was almost six o’clock and Frankie had been with Josh for almost two hours and it was too fucking long.
“Hey,” I said softly. “How you doing?”
She looked up at me with tear filled eyes, chewing on her bottom lip. “Have they found Josh yet?”
“No, nothing yet, but they will. Have you tried his number again?”
Fuck knows why, but I’d been encouraging Maisie to give him the benefit of the doubt, suggesting that he’d had a long term plan to take Frankie out for tea or something and forgotten the time. When she told me that Frankie hated Josh and would never go out with him, my veins started to itch and I had an innate desire to kill the fucker.
Maisie nodded and glanced down at the mobile clutched in her hand. “Nothing,” she replied.
I sat down on the bed and without thinking took her hand in mine. I felt like a fraud feeling so anguished about Frankie going missing. I didn’t have a right to be upset, but I knew it was helping Maisie me being here. For some reason I’d been able to calm her and when the police arrived and said they were looking for Josh, it was me she ran to and wrapped her arms around.
“How’s Mum?” she asked, leaning her head against my arm.
“Making tea.”
I breathed in deeply and momentarily placed my cheek against the top of her head. Although it was a brief connection, she calmed me too and I was glad we could be there for each other.
“It wasn’t her fault,” Maisie said breaking the silence. “She was on time, early in fact, but Josh had already taken him.”
“I know, sweetheart. No one is blaming her.”
“She is.”
“Well she shouldn’t.” I rubbed the back of Maisie’s hand with my thumb and looked over the top of her head through the window. “You have any idea where he might take him? Does he have a special place or anywhere they went to together.”
“No, I can’t think of anywhere and like I said, Frankie didn’t like him, so he wouldn’t go anywhere with him.” Maisie suddenly let out a sob. “Do you think he’ll hurt him?”
“No, he wouldn’t do that.”
I had no idea whether he would or not, but the fucker could bet his last penny that if he did I’d hunt him down and kill him with my bare hands. I was fucking petrified at what might happen to my son and I knew I’d kill for him if I had to.
Maisie’s shoulders started to shake and her hold on my hand got tighter, my heart squeezing with the same intense grip. I couldn’t believe this was happening, just as I’d got my head from up my arse and decided to get to know my son, he might be snatched away from me. Why the hell had I been such a selfish prick and stayed away all this time and maybe I didn’t deserve to have this fucking time with him, but not at Maisie’s expense.
“You okay?” I asked, once Maisie had stopped crying.
She nodded. “Sorry, but I’m just so scared, Sam. Josh hates Frankie just as much as Frankie hates him and Frankie winds him up, what if he lashes out at him?”
The rage inside of me boiled up and I clutched at Frankie’s duvet to steady myself. “He lays one hand on him and I’ll make him wish he’d never lived. I’ll fucking kill him slowly.”
“What were you doing here anyway?” Maisie lifted her head from my shoulder to look at me, tears still brimming at her lashes but no longer falling.
“It doesn’t matter,” I replied, shaking my head. “We’ll talk once Frankie is home.”
“No, go on.”
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I was coming to tell you I’m sure I want to be a dad to him.”
Maisie sat up straighter. “Really? You’ve decided eh?” Her tone was hard and while it surprised me, it wasn’t anything I didn’t deserve.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry Maisie for the way I’ve treated you both. I should never have spoken to you the way I did at the hospital on the day he was born, I was a real twat. I’m not that man, the one that doesn’t own up to his responsibility. I knew you weren’t the sort of woman who’d lie to me, but I was just so fucking scared, Maisie.”
“So was I,” she replied, letting go of my hand. “I had no idea how to look after a baby and I would never have expected anything from you, just a little support now and again. You know, take the strain and listen to me when I wanted to cry because I thought I was messing everything up and was being a crap mum.”
“I don’t think anyone could ever accuse you of that.” I looked at her puffy eyes and knew I’d done her a total disservice all those years ago, thinking she’d be like Alison. “He’s an amazing kid and that’s all down to you.”
She gave a slight shrug. “Thank you, but I’ve done plenty of things wrong with that boy. So, what’s changed, Sam? Why now?”
