“Hiya Stuart,” the nurse who opened the door said. “We’ve just moved Carly to the first bay, second bed in.”
“Great, cheers.”
With that, the guy Stuart pushed past her. “Good luck, mate,” he called over his shoulder.
“Can I help you?” The nurse gave me a knowing smile as I rubbed a hand down my face. “Who you here to see my love?”
I cleared my throat. “Maisie West. She’s had a baby.”
“Most people have on this ward.” She lifted the small watch that was attached to her uniform. “It’s a bit late for visiting love. We only allow partners or a family member, if necessary, at this time of night.”
“Does she have someone with her?” I asked, fearful of someone in Maisie’s family finding out I was the father.
“No, her mum went about a half hour ago. So, unless you’re her partner, I can’t let you in I’m afraid.”
I let out a sigh of relief and dropped my hands to my knees, but the nurse must have misunderstood and took it as a response for disappointment.
“Are you the father?”
My head shot up to look at her as I tried to swallow down the huge lump that had formed in my throat.
“W-what?”
“Are you the father? You’ve got that look of a man who’s been floored by the realisation that he’s become a dad.”
I nodded. “I don’t know if…”
She inclined her head, waiting for me to finish, but when I didn’t she smiled and evidently thought I needed her to take pity on me.
“Okay, I tell you what. I’ll go and ask her if she wants to see you and if she does, as you’re the father, I’ll let you in. What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Sam, but it’s fine. I don’t want to put you to any trouble,” I burst out, feeling that I’d made totally the wrong decision in even thinking about visiting Maisie and the baby.
“It’s no trouble, Sam. We have this a lot, couples who split up before the baby gets here and then dad has an urge to visit. It’s nothing new. Just wait here and I’ll check what Maisie wants to do.”
Before I had chance to argue, she was gone. I considered running – sprinting out of the hospital and never coming back, but my feet wouldn’t move. They were rooted to the spot with my desire to know; to check whether it was true and wanting proof that Maisie wasn’t the same sort of cruel bitch as Alison.
Within a couple of minutes the nurse was back wearing a big smile. “Come on,” she said, beckoning me with her head. “There’s a little boy who wants to meet Dad.”
My heart drummed in time with every step I took towards Maisie and the baby and even as we rounded the corner and the nurse pointed to a bed with a curtain around it, I was still thinking of running – if I didn’t have a heart attack first.
The ward was quiet, except for the soft whispers of parents and quiet gurgling of babies. The lights were low and everything seemed remarkably calm, the total opposite of how I was feeling with the typhoon of emotions whirling around my head and my heart. It was all too surreal and I was sure it was all just someone’s idea of a sick joke – me standing in a maternity ward waiting to see my son.
As I took a hesitant step forward, the guy who I’d seen outside in the corridor appeared from behind a curtain, holding an empty glass.
“Alright, mate,” he said, holding up the glass. “The wife wants a drink. You see your nipper yet?”
“I-I’m just going in now,” I stammered.
“Best thing ever. Better go, and good luck.”
As he disappeared, I heard Maisie quietly call out my name, so taking a deep breath, I pulled back the faded blue and yellow curtain and step into the peaceful cocoon that she and the baby were in.
“Hi,” she whispered, looking up at me shyly, the baby cradled in her arms. “I never for one minute thought you’d come.”
I stared at the tiny bundle sleeping against her chest desperately trying to see something of me in him.
“Sam?”
