My head shot up as I stared at my mum. “What? What do you mean, settle? I’m not settling for anything.”
“I think you are, love, you’re settling for Josh because you think Frankie needs a father and you want a partner.”
“Of course I do,” I snapped. “But I wouldn’t settle just so we got those things. Give me some credit.”
Her comments hurt, but they niggled too because I was scared she was right. I’d been wondering for a while whether I put up with Josh and his sniping at me and Frankie because I was scared of being alone. I had loved him a great deal when we first got together, he was fun and sweet, but the last year and a half, he’d made it pretty difficult to still feel that way about him.
“All I’m saying is, if he’s not who you really want, then you will be fine on your own until you find the one.”
“I’m fine with who I’m with now, Mum.”
I turned back to the sink and continued peeling the potatoes, choosing to ignore the heaviness in my heart.
* * *
Dinner at my parents’ house hadn’t been the best of evenings. Mum and I barely spoke to each other, Libby did nothing but complain about having to eat pie, and Dad kept going on about Josh removing Frankie’s music, and how it was a good job he’d backed it up on his computer. All this while Frankie went on and on about being cast as Grandpa Joe in the play. All in all I was glad when it was time to leave.
As soon as I walked through the door, I knew immediately that I probably would have been better staying at Mum and Dad’s despite how crappy the evening had been. Josh was just coming out of the kitchen holding a bowl of cereal.
“Is that your dinner?” I asked, taking Frankie’s coat from him so he could take off his shoes.
“Well you didn’t leave me anything, so yeah.”
Josh looked down at Frankie, who had his earphones in.
“I take it he whined to your dad to put his music back on.”
I sighed inwardly, wondering what his bloody problem was. Frankie loved music and Josh for some reason found it irritating.
“Yes,” I replied with a smile to try and calm his mood. “I asked him to.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “You need to stop spoiling him.”
“How is it spoiling him?” I asked, ushering Frankie toward the stairs. I pulled out one of his earphones and leaned down to his ear. “Go up and get your teeth cleaned and pyjamas on, I’ll be up in twenty minutes to turn your light off.”
“Light off straight away,” Josh added. “And leave that iPod down here.”
Frankie looked up at him through his long lashes and for one minute my stomach rolled when I thought he was going to argue back. Thankfully, he didn’t, but without taking his eyes from Josh, turned off his iPod, took out his earphones and wrapped them around the silver music player before handing it to me. Josh’s cheek pulsed as the two of them stared each other down.
“Frankie, go on up,” I said, with a gentle tap to his back.
He turned and looked up at me and for an instant I saw sadness in his eyes. The sight was like a punch to my stomach. This was not what I wanted for my boy, to be sad because of the man I’d chosen to be in our lives.
“Night, Mum.” He reached up on his tiptoes and kissed my cheek before racing up the stairs, adding an extra bang to his steps on each tread.
“Frankie!” Josh shouted. “Stop stamping.”
I couldn’t help the frustrated sigh escaping and immediately Josh’s angry gaze landed on me.
“What the hell is that about?” he asked, the bowl of cereal dangerously close to losing its contents as it tipped.
“Nothing and be careful, you’re going to spill your cereal.”
He looked down at the bowl and then back up at me. “Can’t have that can we?” With his narrowed eyes firmly fixed on me, he slowly tipped the cereal and milk onto the carpet. “Oops sorry.”
“Josh!” I cried. “What the hell have you done that for?” I went to move past him to go and get a cloth, but he caught hold of my arm.
“I’m sick and tired of being the bad guy here,” he snarled. “You spoil him and give me shit all the time.”
