I followed Mum to the kitchen, shouting a hello to Dad as we passed the lounge. Immediately I went over to the sink and picked up a potato and a knife. “How many do you want me to peel?” I asked.
“Ooh about six, I’d say. Libby and I are off the carbs,” Mum announced.
“Again?” I asked, wondering how long it would last this time. My mum and my sister had tried every diet known to man and it was a different one each week. No carbs though had been done at least twice before.
“Hmm,” she replied, examining a bag of carrots. “That woman off the telly is doing it and she’s lost ten pounds.”
“Which woman?”
“You know the big lady, the one with beautiful, long red hair.”
I had no idea who she was talking about, but gave a murmur of recognition anyway.
“What is it for tea, anyway?” I asked, thinking it was probably best not to get into the whys and wherefores of Mum and Libby’s latest fad.
“Homemade steak pie.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but changed my mind. I was too het up about the fact that Frankie had another lesson with Sam the following day and Josh had been a total and utter prick earlier, accidently wiping all Frankie’s music from his iPod. I was pretty sure he’d done it on purpose because he’d caught Frankie listening to music at gone ten the night before when he should have been asleep. Josh said he’d been updating the software for him, but I wasn’t that stupid. Luckily, my dad had backed everything up on his computer for Frankie, so after dinner I’d get him to reload it again. Unfortunately, the promise that his grandad would be able to do that, hadn’t stopped Frankie from throwing a real temper tantrum at the time – earning himself another lecture from Josh.
“I take it Josh didn’t want to come,” Mum said, her voice tight and accusing.
I’d stopped defending Josh and lying that he’d made other plans or that he’d been called into work, it wasn’t as though they hadn’t all seen through my lies over the last couple of years, each of them swapping furtive glances of disappointment in my boyfriend not wanting to be a part of the family.
“No, it’s not his thing and to be honest, I think Frankie needs a bit of a break from him.”
Mum looked at me quizzically, so I told her about the iPod. She adored Frankie, and Josh not so much, so all the way through the story her lip curled further and further into a snarl, until finally I actually thought she might bark at me.
“Dad will get it all back after tea,” she said, a hardness to her voice.
“I know, that’s what I told Frankie.”
We continued to prepare our meal in silence, both of us stewing over what Josh had done. Animosity was positively bristling off my mother and I knew she was trying hard to keep her tongue. Neither she nor Dad particularly liked Josh, but as they said, he was my choice. They used to say ‘he’s good to you and Frankie and he’s your choice, so that’s all that matters’, nowadays though it was simply ‘he’s your choice, Maisie’.
“You know,” my mum finally said, breathing heavily. “It really concerns me how he is with Frankie. Doesn’t it you? He never used to be like that, it’s as though as time’s gone on he can’t cope with the fact that the poor child has a personality.”
I paused peeling the potato in my hand and looked at her; the tears in her eyes shocking me.
“Mum.” I threw the potato and knife into the sink and moved over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “He’s not violent or anything like that. He just has quite strict rules about things, and you know Frankie, he likes to push the boundaries.”
“And that’s what makes him so wonderful,” Mum said, gripping my hand. “Don’t let him govern that out of him, Maisie. That child is bright and funny and yes he’s a cheeky little beggar at times, but he’s polite too, and he knows how to behave when it’s important. His teachers love him.”
“I know. They tell me all the time.” I moved away from her and leaned against the counter, my back rigid. “Josh isn’t a monster, Mum.”
“I’m not saying he is, but the fire has gone out of your eyes too over the last couple of years.”
“What fire?” I asked, feeling a knot forming in my stomach. “I’m the same as I’ve always been.”
Mum shook her head. “No Maisie, you’re not,” she cried. “You used to be feisty and strong, but you just don’t seem to have any fight left in you.”
I felt as though she’d slapped me across the face. That my own mother thought that about me was as big a shock as when I’d found out I was pregnant.
“Well thanks, Mum.”
“I’m not trying to be mean,” she said, making a move toward me. “But I hear how he talks to you both and once upon a time you’d have told him to shove it, but now you just accept it. To be honest, once upon a time he worshipped both of you, now it’s like he just wants to control you.”
“I don’t just accept things,” I replied, knowing deep down Mum had a point. Josh had changed and I couldn’t stand the arguments any longer.
“You don’t have to settle you know.”
