Samuel
the past
Out of breath, I pushed on the buzzer for the maternity ward, desperate for them to answer.
“Come on,” I muttered to myself, putting the small, pink bear under my arm pit, I squeezed anti-bac liquid into my hand from the pump next to the door.
“Hello,” a voice echoed as I was just about to press the call button again.
“I’m here to see Alison Carmichael,” I replied, one hand on the door ready to push it open.
There was a pause for a few seconds. “Okay, come on in.”
I heaved a sigh of relief as it buzzed to indicate it was open. I pushed through and ran down the short corridor to the main part of the ward.
“End bay,” the nurse on the desk said, giving me a huge smile.
With a tight hold of the teddy bear, I rushed off with a quick ‘thanks’, desperate to see Ali and the baby. I couldn’t believe I’d missed the birth. She’d promised to call me as soon as she went into labour, but for reasons only she knew, she’d not texted me until half an hour ago insisting I get there as soon as I could. Admittedly, I’d been in college all afternoon and she’d have known I’d have gone to the pool afterwards, but she’d promised, so I was pretty hurt that she hadn’t called. I knew we were keeping everything quiet, shit I hadn’t even told my parents I was going to be a dad, but I still should have been the first person she called. I knew I couldn’t go into the delivery room with her, her mum was doing that, but I could have been on the ward waiting.
Excitement swilled in my gut as I approached the bay the nurse had directed me to. I was going to see my baby – mine and Alison’s baby.
When I rounded the corner, Alison was the first person I saw amongst all the other women propped up in bed or sitting in chairs feeding their babies and she looked beautiful, considering the amount of pain she must have gone through.
Her blonde hair was piled on her head and her cheeks were pink as she lay back against a mound of pillows, her eyes directed at the Perspex cot next to her.
Picking up my step, I moved to stand at the end of the bed and reached down to touch her foot under the cover.
“Hey,” I said quietly, not sure if the baby was asleep.
Alison’s head shot around to look at me and her eyes widened. “Sam,” she gasped. “Where have you been, I texted you ages ago?”
“Sorry.” I held up the pink teddy bear. “I wanted to get this.”
I grinned and moved to the side of the bed without the cot and bent to kiss her cheek. I was desperate to see my daughter, but I wasn’t so much of a dick to ignore the mother of my child.
“God, you look beautiful,” I said, cupping her face. “How was it?”
She shifted on the bed and winced a little. “Okay, as I expected; painful.”
My eyes darted to the cot and I took a step, but Ali caught hold of my hand, her eyes looking over toward the door.
“No, Sam. I need to talk to you.”
She flattened her lips against each other and I saw tears in her eyes as she squeezed my hand.
“Why?” I asked. “What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with her?” I glanced over at the cot, but could only see a tiny, pink woollen hat peeking out from the top of a white blanket.
“No,” Ali replied, swallowing hard. “Nothing like that.”
“What then?” I dragged the chair that was behind me closer to the bed and flopped down onto it. “Alison, what’s wrong, tell me?”
She took a deep breath and glanced at the baby and then back to me. “I’m sorry, Sam, but she’s not yours.”
I felt as though someone had punched me in the stomach as it lurched, and my heart stopped. A shiver ran over me as I followed Ali’s gaze to the baby. I pulled my hand from Ali’s and slammed it against my chest.
“Nope. No way,” I hissed, shaking my head. “She’s mine. She has to be.”
My voice broke as I said the words that I was desperate to be true. She had to be mine. I loved Alison and she loved me. She’d been my coach since I was fourteen, but things had changed when I reached sixteen, our relationship had become sexual and had been that way for over two years. The last eleven months had been the best of those two years because things between us had become more intense - she’d left her husband and we’d begun making plans for the future.
