“You don’t understand. He was a sex addict. Whenever he wanted, I had to do it. There was no mood, no romance, nothing. I was just a body for him. He watched porn whenever he wasn’t screwing me. Whenever I said I was sore or hurting, he would tell me to ice it.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
She gulped down the remaining bourbon, and sat the glass on the coffee table. Then, she sat back down with a sigh, and he imagined the alcohol buzz was getting to her. “I loved him at first. That’s why I married him. Why I stayed? I didn’t want to give up that fantasy…that we were happy. I kept hoping one day he would get better and we would be like we were when we dated. Stupid, I know. I guess I left him too late. One day, I had internal bleeding and…”
A rush of anger bolted through him. “Tell me where he is. I will kill him,” he said, rubbing his temples, which were about to fucking pop.
“What? No. That is why I didn’t say anything to my family. My brothers are over protective and I didn’t want any of them to end up in jail.”
“So that criminal is free?”
“Somewhat.” She gave him a sad smile. “Trust me, someone with those issues can never be completely free.”
What kind of silver lining bullshit was that? “That’s poignant, but not fair.”
She shifted on the couch, fingers drumming on her lap. “I learned to deal with it and move on. That’s why I left New York. It helped me with the healing process.”
“Your family still doesn’t know?”
“No. At first, I felt like a failure for asking for a divorce. I got over that, but I can’t go back to where I was emotionally three years ago. I wanna move forward.”
He swigged another good dose of liquor, but the aftertaste was more like a boost of adrenaline than calming as the bourbon burned his throat. Too intense. “What makes you think you’re ready for sex?”
Standing, she gazed at him, her coffee-colored eyes wide with hope. “Because ever since I started working for you…I don’t think. That’s the thing. I want to do it. I’ve done enough analyzing in therapy. Now I just feel this…thing,” she said, fanning herself, “that’s truly so new to me it makes me believe I can start over again.” Her voice was filled with such raw emotion, that he fell back as if it was strong enough to punch him.
He clasped the tumbler. Why mislead her? She deserved everything, and damn it, just months ago he was in an open relationship. They were polar opposites. “I’m flattered, Elena. You are a gorgeous woman. But I’m just not the guy to guide you in that journey.”
She straightened her shoulders, and stared at him for a second that stretched beyond comfortable. For the first time in his life, he had a hard time holding a stare. Particularly when her eyes gleamed, not with happiness or joy. Did he just hurt her by trying not to hurt her? Shit.
Out of the blue, she blinked, and fetched her bag from the sofa. “Okay. I guess I’d better get going,” she said in a rush of words.
“Are you—”
She strode past him, her heels clunking on the floor. “Don’t worry, Devon. I’m keeping my end of the bargain.”
He turned to her. “I was gonna ask you if you are okay to drive.”
“Yes. I’m fine. Bye.” She got to the entrance, and for a while it seemed the only sound besides his racing heart was the clicking of her heels. When he could no longer hear them, he threw his glass against the wall. He had just rejected her, for all the right reasons.
Getting her out of his head…was a different story.
***
“You okay?” Holly asked. “You’ve barely said a word.”
Elena managed to smile. Thank goodness she had put on a generous amount of concealer under her puffy eyes that morning. “I’m fine. Just preoccupied with some work stuff,” she said, then bit into the blueberry muffin. If carbs couldn’t help her forget how he rejected her the night before, all was lost.
Holly took a bite of the breakfast granola bar. “Did you hear anything else about the woman who kissed your boss?”
“What? No.” She edged closer to her friend, heart pounding. “Why? Have you?”
“No. Although I ran into Jennifer in the lobby café and had an idea. What if we had whomever we suspect talk to her? She can recognize their voice. And maybe up close—”
Her heart slammed against her ribcage. She waved her off. “Holly, that’s a silly idea. Trust me, the best thing is to stay as far from Devon’s sexual life as possible.” As per his request. She took another bite of the muffin.
Holly stuck out her tongue. “You’re no fun.”
“That seems to be the general understanding.” She glanced at her watch. “Time to go. Talk to you later.”
