She swallowed. Advantage? She’d laugh if she wasn’t so rattled inside. “You didn’t. I didn’t do anything I didn’t want.” Trust me on this.
“I understand, but I’m much older than you. I should know better.”
“So kissing me was a mistake?” she asked, hating how deflated her voice sounded.
There was a brief affection touching his eyes. “One I’ll never forget.”
What the hell did that mean? She frowned. Did he have special powers and sense her inexperience? Was that the reason why he stopped? “Is it because I’m a virgin?” she said, and a wave of embarrassment washed over her the minute she heard her own silly question. But maybe he’d suspected she wasn’t that well versed when it came to hookups, and decided against it. Maybe it’d been all her fault. Maybe she inherited that lack of emotional know-how from her mom.
He stepped back, and looked at her like she just told him she was an alien. A virgin alien. “What?”
“I’m…” her tongue got stuck at the roof of her mouth, self-preservation playing a part. She swallowed the lump of frustration.
“Alyssa, you being a virgin doesn’t have anything to do with my decision. If anything, it only confirms I’m right in stopping it before it goes too far.”
Far was exactly where she wanted to go. She sighed. For the first time when she was with someone, she’d been completely in the moment, swept by desire. Not worrying about the consequences and certainly not thinking about her mother and her shitty mistakes. Did it mean she’d be this carefree with anyone else? She doubted it. “What about what I want? Doesn’t that count?” What she wanted hadn’t played a role in her childhood, or teen years. She’d had to earn her every ounce of her mediocre independence, and even now, she didn’t have what she wanted. Not yet, anyway. What made her think she’d simply have what she wanted with Knox?
He held up his hand, resolute. “I suggest you leave, Alyssa. The subject is closed.”
Knox looked at the empty screen.
Three days ago, Alyssa had shown up at his place with pizza and beer, and he’d made a bad call. He’d kissed her, touched her, and if she hadn’t called him by his last name and pulled him out of the moment, he’d have fucked her too. What a terrible mistake.
Exhaling, he rubbed his eyes, then stretched his arms. He had to get the story going. Ben, his agent, would be calling in a few days to talk things over. Hell, if he didn’t answer, the man would knock at his door—and he was frightening for a five-feet-five bald guy.
The words from Alyssa, questioning Hunter’s lack of an emotional love life, echoed in his ears. Did she have a point? Nah.
His audience didn’t want that type of soapy shit. Neither did he.
Ever since his divorce, he’d been all right on his own.
Maybe his ex-wife Sandra was right. Maybe he was one of those guys just hard to live with. That had been one of her arguments during their marriage. They were just too different. While he was into typical introvert stuff, she loved being around people. As many as possible, for as long as possible. And the parties. Oh, so many parties had she goaded him in throwing and attending.
You could have been an actor too, if you wanted, she’d once said. You’ve got the looks for it.
He stood, figuring the worst thing would be looking at the blank screen and letting anxiety creep in. In times like these, he preferred keeping himself busy, and hope his creativity well would fill on its own by doing something completely different than writing. Right now, it meant taking a shower and giving a second look at the women on his app he’d matched with. Some drinks and sex had to take the edge off and distract him—especially after he’d seen Alyssa in the Smith’s pool earlier.
His body temperature rose as the memory of her body in a pink bikini took over his brain. He should have moved right away, adverted his gaze somewhere else, but a part of him refused.
And he basked in how she lazily lay on the lounging chair, stretching her limbs, suppressing a yawn. A straw hat covered her face, but everything else was sinfully exposed to his gawking.
She’d wanted him to have sex with her. Of course he’d denied her. But… a virgin?
A tight knot pressed in his throat. The idea of being her first, of wakening her sexual side, of course was a deep tissue massage to his male ego, but also carried a truckload of red flags. A woman like her, inexperienced, could get attached to him. Could think sex meant something deeper. Besides, she was Madison’s best friend.
He didn’t want to ruin things with his family, and an affair with Alyssa was a sure way to do it.
His cell phone buzzed, and he walked to his desk and scooped it up. A call from Alice Smith.
“Hello?” he greeted, frowning. Alice didn’t call him often, especially not from Asia. He was on a friendly basis with her husband Steven. They weren’t super tight, but shared a drink in a blue moon or invited each other for parties. All for good neighbors’ sake. Whenever his wife called, she usually meant business.
“Hi Knox, I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, with an edge of impatience in her voice.
“No problem, Alice. What’s up?” he said, cutting the small talk.
On the other end of the line, he heard her sigh. “Well, we’re still in China. But my house sitter called me today with bad news. Yeah. There’s a problem with one of our pipes, and therefore the water in our home has been turned off to prevent further damage.”
“Do you want me to take a look?” He wasn’t a pro at plumbing, but could try it.
