“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning, then a second later shook his head. Of course she also was pissed that Madison, her best friend, caught her like that. But he wondered if Madison would forgive her more easily than she would him.
She lifted her chin, and he stared at her, the emotion in her eyes finally perceivable. Hurt. “You said we weren’t together.”
He took a step back, making sense of her words. “I meant we weren’t having sex when she said she caught us together. I still can’t believe she found us like this. Why didn’t you tell her to leave?” he asked. Of course he’d tell his daughter, especially now that he admitted to loving Alyssa, but in a much better mind frame and environment.
“So now it’s my fault? I’m sorry she found out about your dirty little secret,” she said, her voice defensive.
He lifted his hand to speak. He had to stop her before things got out of hand. “Look, Alyssa—”
She shook her head, waving her hand at him, and he didn’t dare interrupt her. Resentment crossed her expression, and her eyes accused him. “It’s fine. We got ahead of ourselves.”
He stepped forward, but she stepped back. His heart felt small in his chest, and he wondered if all of this was because of what just happened. “What do you mean?”
“Madison is wonderful. She hates me now, or will soon, and I don’t want to be in between you two.”
What? He rubbed his temples, an incoming headache already announcing its arrival. “Can’t you give it a minute? She just found out,” he said. Unless… unless she was scared. Unless she wasn’t ready for him. For them. They’d been living in the bliss of a forbidden affair, but everyday life and challenges was different. A lump of frustration formed in his throat. “Be honest with me, Alyssa,” he said “I’ve always been honest with you.”
“I thought I was ready for us… turns out I am not,” she said, her words ripping a part of his heart he was sure would never heal again.
“Am I the world’s worst friend?” Alyssa asked when Madison joined her on round table of the charming little café in an up-and-coming neighborhood. She didn’t need her friend’s reply to have her answer. She’d fucked up pretty bad. Her stomach turned the same it had for a few days now. Thankfully Madison had finally taken her call and agreed to see her.
“Jury’s still out,” Madison said, sliding her designer tote on the arm of the chair. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on between you and my dad?”
Do you want a list? She crossed and uncrossed her legs, restless. “Because I had a good thing going and was selfish. I mean, I told myself I didn’t want to hurt you, but I guess I was so happy I didn’t want to burst that bubble.” And she’d ignored all the red flags. He’d taken her to that shady little bowling alley, then told her he loved her when she distanced herself. And after Madison found them out, he acted like he’d been embarrassed. Even slightly blamed her for them getting caught. And, oh, yes, the “we weren’t together” and “not getting married.”
“I see.”
She put her hands in her lap, fidgeting with the napkin. “It wasn’t fair to you. I swear I’d never looked at your father that way before. I mean, yes, he’s hot and all, but—”
Madison lifted up her hand, surely not wanting to hear her father talked about as hot. “I get it.”
“Anyway, I never disrespected your home and stuff while he was married. It just happened over this summer,” she said, needing to ensure her friend understood that she never slept with her father before this summer.
“I don’t need the details, trust me. I know how these things work.”
“Yeah.”
Madison gave her a once over, then the features of her face softened. “Look, the age difference isn’t the worst. I mean, my mom dated this guy who was like fifteen years younger than her or whatever, so she shouldn’t be that surprised either. But what took me back was how this happened and I didn’t know. Though now I guess it’s better that I didn’t know so I didn’t have to hear you going on and on about my dad.”
“Yes, you would not have enjoyed that.” And trust me, there’s lots to brag about, she thought, and her heart shrunk. Dang, she missed him. Not just the sex, but spending time with him. Laughing. Talking. “So where does that leave us?”
The waitress came and took their orders, and when she left, Madison tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Listen, Alyssa… it’ll be an adjustment period for everyone. How are you with Dad?”
Alyssa squared her shoulders. He took her asking him to leave seriously, and hadn’t made any effort to talk to her or visit ever since. Maybe deep down he was relieved that she ended it and he didn’t have to be the bad guy. “We are not. It’s better this way, besides…”
Madison leaned in. “Besides what?”
Alyssa picked the napkin holder and played with the edges. “When he said he’d never marry me. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks that way,” she said, too proud to mention the episode in the bowling alley. Besides, she didn’t want to make him the bad guy to his daughter. Not that he’d ever been terribly bad… She sighed.
“I didn’t hear that. He said you weren’t marrying. I understood as in right away.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” she said, her voice losing energy at the end.
The waitress brought their drinks, an iced coffee for her and an expresso for Madison. A few macaroons were brought on a plate, because what’s the best way to mend a broken heart, right?
“I can’t speak for my dad. But don’t let the worst-case scenario mindset get the best of you,” Madison resumed speaking after the waitress left.
“I’m confused.” She didn’t want to vomit all her insecurities on Madison, that wouldn’t be fair. Besides, there was a good chance Madison would resent them both for it. “I ran into my mom the other day and I guess that meeting triggered all kinds of things,” she said, opting to leave out the details of how she felt like he had picked a rundown place to hide her. Had he hidden her from his friends or Madison’s? The question still wasn’t answered. Of course he’d say Madison’s friend. But because of her fucked up family life, she’d never be sure.
