Though she couldn’t let go.
She should, if she knew what was good for her.
Knox was trying to be the mature person, to do the right thing. She recognized his rationale and appreciated it. But her desire for him was like a bullet train on its path to a coveted destination, there was no way to slow it down or bring it to a halt. She’d never felt this way before, and that had to mean something.
She put on a black Polyester halter top, and pulled her hair into a high ponytail. If she didn’t know herself, she’d say her slutty outfit could be used in a B late-night sexy movie. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and it wasn’t like she could afford modesty.
She’d gone to the Smith’s house, checked the mail, watered the plants and killed time, then returned. Her meeting with the non-existent plumber had been a lie, of course, and while it snowballed, she hoped she’d get what she wanted in the end. She didn’t want to keep lying, but she needed more time with Knox. And how in the world would she have an opportunity like this again?
She picked up her roller skates and made a point to walk through the living room when he’d been reading a book. “I already fed Mr. Fluffers, so he should be okay,” she said casually.
“Where are you going?” he asked, lowering the book and studying her outfit.
She lifted her bag with the roller skates. “I’m going to meet a friend at the beach walk and catch up.”
“A friend? I thought all your friends were out of town.”
“Well… a new friend,” she said. Another lie. She’d drive her ass to run some errands, get some money in the bank, grab a frap and check her Instagram for a couple of hours. “Anyway, I have to get going. Thanks again,” she said, and dashed out of his home before he could reply.
She was enjoying her frap when her phone rang.
Madison’s pretty heart shaped face and kind green eyes showed on her screen.
She picked it up, like an old habit, even if a part of her hesitated as she said, “Hello.”
“Hey girl. How have you been?”
“Me? Hanging out with Mr. Fluffers. You know, glamorous life. You’re the one who should have news. You’re in freaking Paris.”
“Omg it’s so nice here. Guys are super hot. Women are gorgeous, though, so competition isn’t fair.”
Alyssa chuckled. She’d missed her friend. Through their friendship, she always enjoyed Madison’s first world problems and easy take on life. Yes, she’d been very privileged, but she was also kind and showed empathy more often than not. What would she say if she found out I made out with her dad? A twinge of guilt twisted in her chest. “I’m sure you’re turning heads.”
“How about you? Have you met anyone interesting? I know that Mrs. Smith has a lot of bachelors on her street. I see them working out in the evening sometimes.”
Alyssa sucked in a breath. “There’s someone I like… but it’s just a silly crush for now.”
Madison squealed. “What’s his name? I might know him. Does he work out outdoors?”
“I guess,” she said. She’d seen Knox go jog, so that counted, right? Besides, it’d be best to make her believe that her crush was one of the young guys in the neighborhood. She couldn’t not even under torture admit it to Madison she wanted her dad. She couldn’t hurt her.
“Well, good luck.”
Shit. A fresh wave of embarrassment washed over her. “It’s nothing serious, really. I’m still the same odd duck.”
“You are the cutest duck. Anyway, I’ll get going but call me when you have a chance, we can Facetime or something.”
“Sure.”
“I can show you all the sights,” Madison said.
Her words stung Alyssa. They shouldn’t have, yet they did. Her friend meant well, she knew, but the idea of seeing all the beautiful attractions a dreamy city like Paris had to offer through her friend’s Facetime session was sad.
She’d never left the country, but she would one day.
She’d build a life for herself much different than what her mother had given her. She’d have a career, one day her own thriving massage business, one day a home. A family. Those wishes and goals no one would take from her.
6
