Alyssa
The Night of the Murder
Ilooked at myself in the mirror.
What did I hope to achieve by agreeing to go to dinner and discuss what I’d learned about my husband? Maybe there was a part of me that thought I’d be able to get through to him, have him turn himself in, and save all those girls. Maybe I wanted him to explain it all away. Prove to me that everything I’d seen was not as it seemed.
Malcolm came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. It took everything in me not to flinch.
“You never cease to amaze me,” he said, placing a lingering kiss on my shoulder. “You are and always will be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to stop for a second and forget the last year had happened and go back to a place where it was just Mal and me in his shed, two gullible teenagers, with old blankets wrapped around our naked forms as we made love into the early hours of the morning. But looking at him again, I realized the Mal in my memories was no more. I didn’t even know how much of that was real and how much was a lie.
I gritted my teeth as his hands roamed the contours of my body and gripped my waist harder.
“Malcolm, this is not exactly what I had in mind for this night.”
“What did you have in mind then?” He nibbled my ears, and I winced.
“One step at a time.”
He backed away and continued to get dressed. “Anything you want, Lissy. I want to do this your way.”
I chose white slacks and a chiffon top that was not meant to distract him even though it dipped in front, exposing cleavage. I pulled out the matching jacket and slipped into my silver heels.
He whistled, and I managed a small smile that pained me. If I wanted to get my answers tonight, I had to play along.
After a surprisingly unawkward dinner, we stopped at a bar in the city. It was one of those nights where the weather was perfect, so I slipped off my jacket. This was a bar we frequented because of the chill vibe.
We grabbed a booth in a corner. This was not something I wanted to talk about in a place where people were in close proximity. On my third shot, my inhibitions were waning, and I reached across and trailed my fingers along his arm. “I’ve always loved you, Mal.”
He looked at me and smiled his I’ve-had-too-much-to-drink smile.
“I love you too, Lissy. That hasn’t changed.”
“Everything has changed. I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Like everything we had is all a lie… as if you’ve been living a double life.”
He didn’t seem surprised by my words.
“This is who I am, Alyssa. I thought I could fight it, be someone else, someone other than my father’s son, but the more I fought it, the more it consumed me. Just know I will never hurt you.”
It’s odd how when you’ve known someone as long as I have Mal, you can have these kinds of conversations saying everything but nothing at all.
“What you’re doing is wrong, Mal. It can’t go on, and I can’t pretend I have not seen what you’ve done.”
“We’re in contracts, Alyssa, people pay us to train these girls, and when the time is right, we release them. I don’t think of them the way I think of you.”
His hands trailed up my thighs, and I took another shot, hating how much I liked his hands on me.
“Would you allow someone to do that to your daughter, Mal?”
“I’m not the man you think I am.”
“No, you’re not, Mal.”
As he slouched over the kitchen island, I stood behind him. We had just gotten home, and he’d poured us both a nightcap. Drinking mine, I stood unsteadily behind him.
“Why didn’t you answer me about Gracie?” I hissed out.
