When she was close enough for the guard not to hear, she hissed low. “He could never hurt me. I made sure of that the day I drove a knife into the bastard’s chest.”
I was taken aback by her anger.
“I spoke to the principal at your old school too.” I noticed the twitch in her eye and the way her breathing pattern changed. “Malcolm got into a lot of trouble, didn’t he?”
“Nothing… I have nothing to say to you anymore.” She wouldn’t meet my gaze, and I knew I’d hit a nerve. It was time to start looking into other areas, like his business.
“You’re not the investigator. This case is closed. Why are you doing this?”
“Because someone I care about is stuck in here when she should be out there.” I pointed to the fence.
I realized what I’d said, and so did she. She stood, and I followed close behind, not saying a word to each other.
Could it be true?
Did I care about her more than I should? It sure seemed that way. I combed my fingers through my hair.
I’d stuck my foot in it this time.
ChapterSixteen
Alyssa
Present Day
The more he snooped, the more complicated my situation could become and the more fear I lived in. I became a sitting duck, waiting for my world to spill out at the seams. He had no idea what his actions could do and the lives that would be impacted by them. Luke Greene saw the glass half full, the way I once did. Seeing life as more than what it was could do one of two things—it could either build you or destroy you. The latter was the option dealt to many. He probably had good intentions, but that was the reason so many of us got screwed over in life.
I didn’t trust people and seeing how emotionally involved he’d become scared me. I might have to talk to him about transferring me over to another doctor, one who didn’t look at me like I needed saving. He had no idea who I was, what I’d been through, or what I’d done. He was not in the picture back then, so he didn’t get to watch me sit back and do nothing when something needed to be done.
Sometimes, killing your husband was not the worst thing one could do, and I’d been a witness to the vilest of things, and at times, I wondered whether I could have changed the outcome of things if I’d acted sooner. Or would I sit in silence once again until I was left without a choice but to take my husband’s life?
I wanted to tell him to stay out of my life and leave my story alone, but I just didn’t have the energy. So I resorted to what I did best. I said nothing.
No matter how hard he tried, I didn’t budge.
I vowed to remain silent.
Nurse Jones continued to deliver my letters. I trusted her but not enough to say anything more. I simply appreciated that she risked her own job and, most likely, her safety by carrying out my requests. I never heard from Meredith, and while I should have been worried, I understood. I’d left my sister with the great burden of parenting, and she did not even have children of her own. I knew she loved my daughter, but she didn’t deserve the amount of responsibility I placed on her shoulders. Still, I loved her and her husband for taking care of my child.
“How does it feel to be away from her?” Luke often asked, hoping to get something from me, some inkling of emotion.
“Well, Luke, it feels like I have a limb missing, like a part of my heart, the part that felt loved and expressed love, has left. It feels like I am a wanderer, forever searching. Nothing looks, feels, or tastes the same.” I looked at the bars on my window, and they were nothing compared to the way I felt inside.“Who cared about being trapped physically when your soul was in chains? When your inner voice was screaming for a way out that would never come.”I wanted to scream those words at him so he understood.Was I scared? Yes, I was, not of being here but of being tried again and moved to a state prison. It was the one thing that kept me awake at night when the medication wore off. I knewhewould be able to find me out there and when he did, there would be hell to pay.
I thought about my parents and the sadness in their eyes during the trial. My mother didn’t stop crying. My father stood expressionless. This was not the daughter they knew, not the daughter they’d raised to be strong and make the right choices. My heart bled looking at them in the crowd, but there was nothing I could do to change it.
I’d been faced with a choice, and I made the one that made the most sense to me.
My sister told me once, days after the murder, that I should have come to her. She said I knew better. I knew the law better than anyone. She was right, but I also knew it would not be on my side.
As I looked at Nurse Jones expectantly, she shook her head sadly.
“Nothing came in the mail, honey, but I’ve sent your letter off.” She sat on the chair opposite me.
Instead of looking at her, I focused on the window, trying to curb the disappointment settling in my gut.
“You can talk to me, you know. You do trust me, don’t you?”
Sighing, I nodded and leaned into my pillow. I closed my eyes, hoping that would give her an indication I wanted to be alone.
