Brody hugs Grady and walks down the path to the front door.
“I’m glad you’re doing this,” Grady tells me.
“Yeah, me too.” I climb back in my car. “See you at ten,” I tell him.
I pull up to the fancy restaurant and suck in a breath. This has been a while. A part of me doesn’t know what to expect if I’ll manage sitting through an entire dinner. I grab my purse off the backseat and climb out of the car. Chandeliers shimmer through the front window, patrons sit around sipping wine. I suddenly feel out of my depth. Maybe this was a bad idea. There was still time to back out. I could get into my car, drive home, stay there until my heart stops pounding, then get Brody. I take a step back, and just then, the door opens.
“I was wondering where you were?” Gregory grins as he walks down the stairs toward me. “You look breathtaking.”
I close my eyes and walk into his embrace. “I missed you,” I tell him. I pull away and loop my hand in his as he leads me into the building.
He smiles down at me. “You look different.”
“I cut my hair.” I shrug.
“No, it’s more than that.” He responds.
I meet his gaze, and I wonder if it’s the fact that I thought, even for the briefest of minutes, that things could be different for me. He leads me through the restaurant, and the sound of chatter and the smell of food is comforting. I look around at the couples, and families, feeling a tug in my chest.
When I look at our table, I smile; they’re all here, beaming back at me—theLeft Behinds. I walk around the large table, and hugs and kisses are exchanged.
“It’s so good to have you back,” Kelly smiles. She and I were one of the ten founders of the foundation. She lost her husband, Matt, a year before I lost Drew. Gregory pulls my chair out, and I sit. I’m surprised to see him lean in and place a kiss on the cheek of a guy I don’t know.
“Meet, Will,” Gregory introduces, and the handsome man with salt and pepper hair leans across my friend to take my outstretched hand.
“I have heard a lot about you.” Will beams. “You look stunning, by the way.”
I feel a subtle ache in my chest, just in the center. Gregory and his husband Tommy were together for years, at every holiday party at the station. They were happy, madly in love, and then Tommy died. I held Greg’s hand through the weeks after Tommy’s death. I can’t imagine him with anyone but the burly fire jumper.
“Thank you. It is great to meet you.” I look at Gregory for answers to my unspoken questions.
“I met Will six months ago,” he tells me.
“And you didn’t tell me about him?” I whisper.
“I just didn’t know how, and you stopped the meetings and turned me down when I asked you out.” His eyes search my face.
I know. I have been less social in the last year. I hated coming to meetings and seeing new widows and widowers. I didn’t want to be a part of that world anymore. I left every session feeling like my soul was being crushed all over again. Every lost spouse was my Drew, every newLeft Behindwas me.
“I’ve been a sucky friend.” I scrunch my nose.
“No, you’ve been a quiet friend, and I know better than to push you. I should have tried harder, though.”
Of all the members of ourclub, Greg and I have been the closest. Kelly and I got along all right, but it was different with Greg. We got each other.
When the entrees arrive, we all dig in. This, I am comfortable with...the huddles at the center, not so much. We chat about what’s been going on in our lives and about the fundraiser. I volunteer despite myself. It will help to keep my mind off stuff.
At the end of the night, Greg walks me to my car and wraps his arms around me.
“Shelby, are you really okay?” He tucks stray hair behind my ears.
“Yes-no. God, I don’t know. There’s this guy.”
“Whoa.” He holds his hand up. “There’s a guy?”
“It’s not like that.” I shake my head. “I thought I kind of liked him, only to find out he’s a ‘one-night stand’ kind of guy. He works with Grady, and well, I don’t want things to get complicated, you know.” I wrap my hands around myself.
“Is a little fun not in the cards? Who knows what could happen?”
