‘Thanks, you too.” He looks at me again. “So, I’ll be seeing you ladies around,” he adds.
“Sure, see you around,” I manage to utter when I finally come back down to earth.
“You are in so much trouble,” she whispers in my ear as we walk away. “You’re so into him.”
“What? That is the most ridiculous thing. I am absolutely not into Ember.” My stomach does a flip, and I wonder whether I am trying to convince myself of that more than Desi.
“Uhm…yeah, you are. You’re practically in a fucking trance. ” Desi giggles as we pile into Grant’s car. The air conditioning instantly cools my heated cheeks.
I am notintohim. Yeah, he’s hot, but why is it that my eyes keep trying to locate him in the darkness, and my heart hasn’t stopped pounding against my ribcage.
Walking into the dark, quiet house is a reality check for me. It was fun getting out with the girls, the eye candy didn’t hurt, but I am a mother first and foremost. And it might be time to visit my support group, theLeft Behinds,again. I know, a pretty lame name for a group of widows and widowers who got tired of being calledThe Widows Safe Haven. I haven’t been to a meeting in two months. I keep working at the Foundation, but I don’t need the counseling. I’ve been doing better, but tonight, when the loneliness is heavy and palpable, I need their voices, their stories, the warmth of a make-believe campfire we all gather around from time to time. To remember. To listen. To share.
I swallow a few Tylenol with a big glass of water. I need to sleep this off and hopefully not have a hangover tomorrow. I send Brody a goodnight message, although I’m sure he’s fast asleep by now. I undress then crawl under the covers holding onto Drew’s pillow, but for some reason, all I see is Ember’s smile.
Chapter 6
Ember
Ihave a headache, which isn't a good thing when I’m hours away from a shift. I got carried away last night at the bar. It was one of those bad nights I can’t get through without the bottle. It’s not the way to deal with problems, I know that, but sometimes it’s just so fucking hard.
The scanner goes off, and I hop out of bed, and that’s when I notice the red hair splayed across the pillow beside me. “What the fuck?” I shout, wrapping the sheets around me.
The woman groans and turns toward me. I have no idea who she is. I have no time to figure it out right now.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as she leans up on her elbows, grinning at me.
“You invited me over.” She bites her bottom lip. Another cover is draped over her body.
“I’ll be right back,” I grumble. I’ll shower and then deal with the woman in my bed. I wish I could at least remember her name. The last thing I remember is watching Shelby walk away with her friend and thinking I should have asked her to stay, to drink with me, and we’d get a cab home, after I—
“Fuck.” I fume when the shower door opens.
“So, we’re on the same page then?” Her voice grates on my nerves as she steps under the spray with me. It is not her fault. It’s mine. I brought her home. I...God knows what I did with her.
“I don’t think we should do this…” I try to filter through the memories of last night, but it is all just a cloud, and none of it has anything to do with the woman in front of me. I have no idea who she is, and I am ashamed to admit that.
She stands with her hands on her hips, her face almost as red as her hair. “Lisa, that’s my fucking name.”
“Lisa,” I start. “About last night—”
She steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around herself. “What about last night?”
I exit the shower and stand in front of her. “I’m sorry if I made you think this would be more—”
“More? Are you serious? You passed out before anything happened. You could barely get it up! Look, I have to go. Let’s just forget this utterly embarrassing night ever happened.”
I follow after her. I’m an asshole, but I don’t want to leave things like this. She’s attractive. I just don’t do well with one night stands, especially those that don’t end well. I watch as she gathers her clothing.
“I’m sorry, Lisa,” I try it again.
“Whatever.” She storms off before I can explain. I feel like an asshole, but it is nothing new. I suppose I should be grateful she didn’t slap me.
Just then, Lisa walks back in, raises her hand, and slaps me so hard across my face it stings. She leaves me standing there. I bet she’s a nice girl, and I have no idea why we didn’t, well, get the fuck on. Every woman deserves more than a roll in the hay with a lousy drunk who won’t even remember her name in the morning.
Nobody should settle for being second best. Lisa isn’t second-best, not by a long shot. I rub my cheek and step in the shower again. I guess I earned that.
* * *
