Ravi lifts her with ease, tipping her neck to the side to nibble on it. She is scared, but her hardened nipples tell me she’s enjoying it. He twists her buds between his fingers, squeezing and kneading as I unzip my jeans and pull on a condom. He turns her around to face him, claiming her mouth hungrily. That is something I’ll never offer anyone. It’s too intimate, too soft, not me. He squeezes her ass; his kiss seeming to placate her.
“Sit.” Ravi coaxes, and she does as she’s told. I guide her back down on me, her back to my front this time. She’s obviously still afraid, but she’s still wet, panting even. Trepidation is always a turn on, especially for little whores. As long as they get paid, they’re happy to comply, even if reluctantly. And I pay, more than the average rate. Why don’t I just fuck around with the other girls at my disposal? Their families are too close to mine, our circle too small. They’d run off to their daddies complaining. These girls are uncomplicated. Just the way I prefer it.
“Move,” I command, and she does, her hips grinding on me. She feels so good. Ravi unzips his jeans, his erection springing free. He fills her mouth to the point of gagging her. His thrusts are hard, merciless, causing her head to jerk back against me. I grip her breasts, squeezing them. She’ll wear my fingerprints for days. When she gags again, he grips her hair and shoves faster into her. Rav and I are as straight as they come, but we love a good threesome, and who better to do with it than your best friend? She bounces on me, the knife a reminder against the throat.
“I’m so close.” he grunts. This has been our game for years, and fuck is it a thrill. I can feel myself climbing too, so I press the knife to her throat a little harder. Just a little blood. Enough to gratify the demon.
“Do it, Sai. Do it.” he taunts. I hold the knife in my hands, but I can’t bring myself to use it. My hand trembles as I look up at the man I call father. “Wait, you can’t, because you’re just a coward, a failure.” His laugh echoes, bouncing off the walls. Figures gathered around us, and I look at the girl beneath me, her eyes widened in fear. They’re all waiting for me to slip up. Judging my every act. If I do this, I’ll be a killer. If I don’t, I’ll never live up to my father’s expectations. I sink between the girl’s thighs, and begin to move in and out of her. I can see the fear in her eyes, but she lets me have my way with her. The other men and women in the room laugh. I’ve never done this before, never fucked a woman, and now I have to do it like this, in front of all these people.
“Do it, you fucking wimp.” He eggs me on. I look down at the girl, seeing a tear slip from her eyes.
His words cut deep. This girl means nothing to me, so why am I holding back. I’m a Shah. I do what I want.
With one clean swipe of the blade, I slit her throat. It’s exhilarating, the blood pulsing through my veins. The fountain of crimson that coats her, and me. I keep thrusting into her body until I’m emptying my seed inside her limp, lifeless form.
There are cheers, but everything is blurry. I feel like I’ve awoken from a trance.
“He’s one of us, Avi, one of us.” I hear a man say.
“He’ll never be one of us.” My father replies.
The last thing I hear before I come inside the woman is her shouts of agony. When reality hits, before she falls limply at my feet, I watch the blood pouring from her onto the white carpet. I feel nothing when I look down at her, I’m numb. But Ravi looks at me in horror, quickly tucking himself back into his jeans. “What the fuck did you just do, Sai?”
His voice sounds far away, and it gets further as darkness consumes my mind and my senses.I killed her. I killed her.
Just like I knew you would. That ugly voice inside me says. Just like you were born to do.
* * *
“Get the fuck up.”I’m being shaken awake. I open my eyes and stare into my friend's worried hazel eyes. He looks like I feel. Like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. My head hurts.
“What happened?” I look around me, and see that we’re in another cabin. The sun is still out and streams in through the windows. I’m lying on a bed that feels too soft. The light is too harsh, my head is pounding, and my muscles feel taut.
“You nearly fucking killed that girl, man! A deeper cut, and she’d be dead Sai. What the hell happened in there?”
I look away. How do I answer him when I have no idea what the hell happened myself? I didn’t intend to hurt her, not like that. I want other kinds of suffering and pain from these women. “Is she okay?” I ask through gritted teeth. I like pain, I love to see women cry. Their humiliation feeds something in me, but I’m not a fucking killer.
Keep telling yourself lies, until they become truth.
“She’s shaken. The doctor got her stitched up, and we’ll pay her enough to keep her quiet. I’m more concerned about you, man.” He places a hand on my shoulder.
“Rav, I don’t know. It’s like I lost it for a second. Like something came over me, took over my senses, and I wanted to hurt her, see her bleed.” I push off the bed and stare out of the window. “Are we back?”
“Yeah, you slept through the day and all of last night.”
“What?” I stand. “That’s impossible.”
“I guess the tequila hit you pretty hard.” He tries to make light of it, but I can see the concern on his face. I have known him my whole life, and yet he doesn’treallyknow me. Unlike me, Ravi is one of the lucky ones. He doesn’t have to be part of The Society, so he doesn’t have to endure some of the horrors I do.
I shake my head. I need to get out of here.
“I need to talk to my father. There’s just something off, Ravi. I’ve felt it for a while, and I think he may know something about it.”
“You sure you’re up for that? Your father is pissed at you. Neil has been calling nonstop.”
“Quite frankly, I don’t care what he feels.”
Since I was a young boy, I have always felt it, a heavy darkness that lived inside me. There are parts of my life that are complete blurs. Whatever it is, it makes me different, makes me want to hurt people, to revel in their pain in a way anormalperson shouldn’t.
