I gasp,sitting up in bed. My heart is racing, and the ache between my thighs is a very real thing, What the actual fuck? I just had a sex dream about Sai. I throw off the sheets, and run into the bathroom, throwing some cool water on my face. That felt so real. What the hell is wrong with me?
When I step back into the bedroom, the digital clock reads five am. Thoughts about the night before race through my mind. Amy and I were so drunk, and Sai was there. He saved us in a sense. I drink some water and take paracetamol. I need air, and I need to get those thoughts out of my mind. There is no way I am going to be able to go back to sleep at this rate.
The shame I feel, dreaming about my best friend’s soon to be husband, is crippling. I pull on running gear and decide I might as well go for a run.
It’s chilly outside when I step out of the condo. The sun hasn’t yet peeked out of the horizon, but its light enough. The cool breeze on my face is a welcome distraction. I plug in my iPod and pull my headphones on as I start a slow jog down the path to the beach. Lauv sings to me about not wanting to be sad anymore. I have a strange playlist. Amy always laughs at the fact that I have what she calls ‘slow jams’ on my workout playlist. But there is something about familiar music, especially songs that actually mean something.
From time to time over the years, the weight of not knowing my father or his side of the family weighed heavily on me. It felt like I was missing this whole chunk of my past and my history. My mom was wonderful, but she warned me that when my father chose her, he was disowned. Religion was a very sacred thing in Turkey, and renouncing his family for a ‘Western’ girl, was the ultimate betrayal.
At several times in my life, the depression became a living breathing thing, and if I hadn’t had running, music, and most of all, my mother, I might have caved under it.
A few other early risers are running along the promenade. I start to pick up the pace, pushing my legs and arms until I find a speed and rhythm, I’m comfortable with. Running has always cleared my mind, and God knows I need some clarity now. There is no doubt that Sai is attractive, but he’s also an asshole, and I don’t fall for assholes. I also don’t fall for my best friend’s assholes.
He isn’t even the type the man I usually am into. My last boyfriend, Theodore, had been a science major. Theo was kind and thoughtful, predictable and nerdy, yes, but nothing like Sai. He didn’t boss me around, he understood boundaries, and he sure as hell wouldn’t hit on Amy, well, as far as I know. We were together for a year, but when it was time to end the relationship, we both agreed on it, maturely, like adults. I’ve only dated two other guys, one in high school, Princeton, and a rebound guy, Jamal, after Theo and I split. I push on, feeling the sweat form on my hairline as my feet pound against the pavement.
I don’t see him until the very last second, and by then, inertia is carrying me forward until I slam smack into his chest, throwing us both off course and on our asses.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” He gets up quickly and lends me a hand.
“It’s all right.” I say once I’m standing.” “I wasn’t really paying attention, to be honest.”
“Neither was I,” he admits sheepishly. “I get like that when I’m running. I’m Ravi, by the way.” He starts to shake my hand, which I realize he hadn’t let go of.
“Kennedy,” I say out of breath, finding myself genuinely smiling. Could be his dimples. He’s a whole head taller than me, at least six feet and some. His face looks like it was chiseled by Auguste Rodin, utter perfection. His shirt hugs his muscular frame, and I only realize I’m staring when he grins, waving a hand in front of my face, snapping me out of the trance he had me in. A lock of hair falls over his striking hazel brown eyes.
“You want to grab a smoothie, Kennedy?” he offers. “I can make up for nearly flattening you.” This man could ask me to strip, and I’d gladly oblige.
“That actually sounds great.” I smile. There is something about him that makes me feel at ease.
“There’s a place just down the promenade, they serve the best health smoothies. So good, you’ll swear they’re bad for you.” he continues.
“Sounds perfect.” We turn back the way I came from and slowly walk.
“You’re not from around here, yeah?” he smirks down at me.
“I’m from Oxford, actually. I’m here on holiday with a friend. How about you?”
“Born and bred here. It’s home.” He motions around us. “Not gonna find anything more beautiful elsewhere. Present company excluded.” He winks.
“Ah, a flatterer, are you?”
“Only when I mean it,” He smiles at me, and my stomach does a flip.
“I’ve traveled to Oxford. Great city. I have a branch of my company there.”
“Maybe we’ll run into each other again when you’re there next.” I flush. “That was so cheesy and unintended.” We laugh, stopping at a small food truck, which has a few small metal tables set up outside it. “Any preference, or should I surprise you?”
I tap my lip. “I like surprises.”
He orders, and I take a seat at one of the tables. The view of the ocean is something I’ll miss when I get home. It isn’t every day that you wake up to this. It truly is a slice of Heaven on Earth.
Ravi joins me with two pinkish colored smoothies. We cheer, and one sip has me moaning. “This is divine.”
“So are the sounds you’re making. It’s kind of a distraction.”
I feel my cheeks flush as I laugh. “So, what’s in this?”
“Strawberries, banana, peanut butter. Strange combination, but it works.” He suddenly leans in, and I feel self-conscious. “Has anyone told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”
