Prologue
Salina
21 years ago
Beinga mother changes your perspective on everything. Things that once brought me shivers of exhilaration are what terrify me the most now. Sleep evades me. I can’t remember the last time I had a full night's rest. Shadows of the past, and fears of the future mock me incessantly.
My appetite has decreased to the point where my midwife has to remind me to do something as basic as eating. I don’t know what I’d do without her, she’s my only friend in these dark days, staying vigil by my side. Reminding me that it will all work out in the end.
I was born into a life of opulence. I had everything a girl could only dream about, but I had never truly lived. Locked away in my parent’s mansion, until I turned eighteen, I was surrounded by tutors, and my nanny, Anna. My mother was never the motherly sort, I barely saw her. She was always at some social function or the other, she didn’t have the time or patience for the inconvenience of raising a daughter.
I never truly lived untilhim. Avi Shah. My betrothed. The man who introduced me to life. He showed me a biosphere that was no longer flat and colorless. There were hues of wonder, and I believed that in every single shade, I discovered a whole new world. Avi was all there was, the beginning of everything. It wasn’t an arranged marriage like most people believe it was. Ours was a whirlwind romance. I was entranced by him the moment I set eyes him. He was handsome, charming, charismatic, and I was looking for adventure. I found it. Danger and disastrous situations were what drew me to Avi in the first place. I reveled in the darkness as much as he did. He awakened something in me, something I had always felt the need to extinguish.
But now, after five years of marriage, everything has changed. I place a hand on my belly. This world no longer offers me security. This is not what I want to bring my son into. It isn’t about my needs anymore, or my happiness, those come secondary.
Everything changed, the day I found out I was pregnant. What should have been the happiest day of my life, was the opposite. A new life was growing inside me, but I’d lost my husband and have no family to share this experience with. To say he wasn’t pleased with our news is an understatement. Avi was outraged. He called it a betrayal, became more distant, less interested in me, and not at all interested in the baby.
Obscurity cloaks the man he used to be. The blackness that surrounds him continues to grow and fester. It terrifies me, and so, I’m left with no other choice.
I pull on a black coat with a hood large enough to almost completely cover my face, and my now swollen belly. The midwife warned me against leaving the house at this late stage of pregnancy, buthe’soffered me something Avi will never provide. Freedom. And safety for my baby.
I’ve heard what The Society can do, I know what they are capable of.
I can’t abandon Avi or the vows we took. I will remain the wife of a ruthless criminal until the end. But I have to protect my child, andhe, the dark one,promised me that. The world my husband lives in is one of blood and betrayal, and my child can’t be a part of it. I don’t have the details, but any ounce of security at this point will be sufficient. Sometimes love means sacrifice. I may never get to see my son’s face, but I will know that he is safe.
It is cold when I reach the docks, a layer of mist making it difficult to see the yachts that I know line the harbor. One of them my own, a gift from my husband on our first wedding anniversary. I wrap my coat tighter around me to keep the chill out. The short walk from the car leaves me feeling slightly out of breath. I feel a cramp in my pelvis but think nothing of it. I have at least two weeks to go before my son is born. I look around the area to make sure I’m alone, and then sit on a bench, far enough from the main walkway to not be seen.
I feel him more than see him.
“Salina. Not even the darkness can shroud your beauty.” His voice sends shivers down my spine, but not the welcome kind. These are the kind that warn you of impending danger.
“What is it that I have to do?” My voice trembles.
He sits next to me, so close, his coat touching mine. I move an inch to create some distance. “There is no need to be afraid.” His words don’t bring me any kind of comfort. Instead, I wonder if this might be the worst decision I have ever made. Trusting a stranger. Putting my life and that of my child inhishands.
“What is it that I have to do?” I ask again, my teeth chattering slightly from the cold.
“It is simple.” He says casually.Hehad preferred to remain anonymous, so I haven’t seen his face in all the months we’ve been communicating by phone.
But I don’t dare turn my head to see his face now. It is said that once you do, you’ll never live long enough to tell the tale.
“A life for a life, a soul for a soul, grant yours to mine, and he will be whole.” His voice is cold.
“What does that mean?” I whisper.
“Your soul, Salina. If you offerusyour soul, your son will live.” I know he can’t mean that literally, but I do know that for people like him, money is life, gold is a soul. I have all of it and more to give to him. I will be indebted to him for life, and whatever he asks, I’ll have to do.
“What’s the catch?”
“Nothing. Give me your word, and the deed is done. You can live out your days as the wife of the most powerful man in the country, and I’ll take care of your son.” His laughter fills the air. His laughter is odd and sinister. It makes me question this entire transaction, but it is too late to change my mind now. I hold my belly; the ache becoming far too much to bear. “Give me an answer, Salina.”
“Yes, just take care of my son. Take him away, keep him safe.”
The pain intensifies, and I find myself kneeling on the ground.Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe.Just like my midwife taught me.It’ll help with the pain.I let out a yelp as the pain reaches unbearable levels. I close my eyes, and lights spot appear behind my lids. No amount of prenatal classes, and yoga could have prepared me for the pain I’m currently in.
“Help me.” I manage.
I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder, but I can’t make out what they’re saying, or even who is speaking. Sounds are far away. My eardrums ache. My insides feel like they’re on fire. It’s too soon, I remember thinking.
