18
Wyatt
2015
Istand at the terminal waiting for her to arrive, the sound of the busy airport making me anxious. Crowds are a hard limit for me. I find myself watching my back. It’s irrational, I know that, but I do it anyway.
I know the moment I spot the lime-green coat and beige beret that it’s her. No one else would be freezing in the middle of summer. Her grey eyes met mine, and suddenly, I feel like everything in the world is right.
Erin walks toward me and wraps her arms around me in an embrace I always find solace in.
“I’m late again, aren’t I, Wyatt?”
“Better late than never.” I nuzzle my nose against her neck as I draw all the comfort I can from the one person in the world who understands me. I release her and take her chin in my hand, kissing her lips.
The driveto the venue we chose is quiet. Not the awkward kind, but the type of comfortable sort of silence between two like-hearted individuals.
“Are you sure about this?” She looks over at me, a smile tugging at her lips.
I cock an eyebrow. Of course, I’m sure. There is nothing I would rather do than spend every single day of my life with her.
“Yeah.” I continue to look at the road in front of me, thankful that she just nods and continues to look out the window.
“I saw Dr. Greene before I left.” She places her hand against the glass and turns toward me.
I didn’t want to admit I knew what she was about to tell me.
That her heart is weakening and she’ll leave me soon. I noticed how sluggish she is, the paleness of her skin, the fact that she is smaller than the last time I held her.
“Don’t say it,” I plead. “Let me believe you’re going to live forever. Just for a second.”
“Wyatt, you know that’s what I wish too, but that is not my fate. It’s why I want you to change your mind and follow your heart for once.”
“I’ll be where my heart is when you’ve said I do.”
I was finally walking away from the army. Erin needs me, she’s dying, and I’m going to be there for her until her heart stops beating.
When I announced the news to my mother, she was worried I was doing it out of guilt and pity, but it only showed how little she understood. I love Erin; she’s been my saving grace. She was the only one I turned to when my world fell apart, and we each drew comfort and healing from each other.
Later that night, I smile at Erin and reach out to take her hand.
“I know when you’re elsewhere, you know. You get to look like you’ve completely checked out. Your eyes glaze over and—”
“I’m sorry,” I cut her off, tracing circles on her slight knuckles. There are times when I want to tell her about Hayley, about the life I left behind, but other times, I am merely content to be here in this moment. That is the past. The question of why it still plagues me still remains.
I look into her bright eyes and smile. She grins at me. It’s difficult not to love Erin. She’s smart and beautiful, and she sees the world differently. She has a big heart and most of her time is spent working for war relief and with wives and families of men and women whose lives were cut short on the battlefield.
She’s an Ambassador. There is no other word to describe her.
Losing Josh was hard on her. She was in a dark place for a long time, but we navigated that road together. Each sharing our losses — the loss of the love of her life and my good friend.
I feel that familiar tug in my chest whenever I think about him. He was the only friend I had. He was the only one who had my back no matter what, despite my constant moodiness and a lousy attitude. He’d saved my life so many times, and yet, in the end, I couldn’t save his. Erin tells me I need to forgive myself, that he would want that, but she can’t be sure. Can she?
“We should get inside. A storm is coming.” She looks at the sky, which to me looks clear. “You’ll see,” she teases as I stand to gather up the cutlery and crockery from our late lunch.
* * *
Later that evening,she’s curled at my side reading some shit by Shakespeare, and I listen to the rain as it pounds onto the rooftop. I lean in and place a kiss on the top of her head.
