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He staggered under the blow but spun around and landed a punch directly on her throat. Ilyana lurched backward, gagging. I was panicked until she drew a gasping breath. And concerned even after. A throat jab can do serious damage.

She’d landed a solid hit on him, though. Did that mean it was time, or had he just been distracted?

I drew the sapphire spike out of my mouth.

It wasn’t much more than a cylinder that tapered to a point, but the point was sharp and would pierce flesh well enough. Not quite as hard as a diamond, but less brittle. Better for stabbing.

I made a dash for the emperor while he was still finding his balance after Ilyana’s assault. I was hoping to catch him off guard. I didn’t.

He grabbed my wrist and twisted, and the sapphire knife dropped from my hand. With a sweep of his foot, my legs were knocked out from under me. I went sprawling on the floor. He’d taken me down in less than five seconds. His dagger was above me, poised to strike.

Yudit spat something small and yellow at him. Without so much as glancing in her direction, the emperor flung up his arm and caught it one-handed.

“You never learn, do you?” he said.

“I learned that you’ll catch what I throw at you,” she replied. “Think it’s midnight yet? Because that frog has enough poison on its skin to kill twenty emperors.”

The emperor opened his fist and looked at the golden poison frog sitting there placidly on his bleeding, thorn-pierced palm. His hand started to shake as the deadly poison soaked into his bloodstream. The frog dropped to the ground. I scrambled away from it.

Froth bubbled from the emperor’s mouth. His muscles seized. He fell, twitching and convulsing, his breath coming in desperate wheezes, his face contorting into a rictus grin.

Then he went still.

“Happy birthday, other-tucker,” Ilyana said to his corpse.

The room went silent except for our heavy breathing and the cheerful chirps of the most dangerous frog in the world. Ilyana tore a tapestry off the wall and used it to wipe the blood from her face.

“How badly are you hurt?” I asked.

She touched her throat and grimaced. “I’ll be fine. Although I might need to switch to a liquid diet for a while.” I winced in sympathy; I knew what that felt like.

Dr. Pipt tottered over to the door that led to the vestibule, cracked it open, and stuck his head through.

“By order of Emperor Osvald Augustus Maximus, first of his name,” he said to the guards outside, “tell the troops to draw back. The war is over.”

I couldn’t quite make out the muttered reply, but it didn’t seem to be to the wizard’s liking.

“You don’t need to know what all those noises were!” he thundered. His customary sneer returned to his face. “Am I not the grand vizier? Do I not speak for the emperor himself? I tell you, he gave this order and it must be obeyed!”

Ilyana drifted over to the doorway. “I fear the emperor is…indisposed after our time disporting together. The grand vizier speaks the truth, I assure you. I’ve been found, after all. What need is there to rescue me?”

There wasn’t much I could do to help them; since I lacked any authority whatsoever in the empire, most likely I’d only make things worse. I collapsed in a chair next to Yudit. I wanted to keep an eye on that frog. It hopped around the room, hunting for any tasty beetles that happened to be around and ignoring us completely.

The floor was littered with overturned furniture, blackened carpets, and a generous scattering of flower petals. Mangled rose canes and shredded stalks of poison ivy poked through the cracks in the floorboards. If a guard popped his head in before we had a chance to clean up, we’d have a lot of explaining to do.

Although even when we got the furniture righted, we’d still have to explain the emperor’s corpse.

“So,” Yudit said, “you and Ilyana the Golden?”

I blushed. “I mean, I didn’t know I’d technically married her, but yeah.”

“Good. I like her. She took a chair shot at the most powerful man in the world. That’s something special.”

The frog was getting too close for my liking, so I turned a vase upside down and trapped it. We could figure out what to do with it later. Dr. Pipt and Ilyana were still talking to the guards. It sounded like they were having more success now. I could hear booted feet running out of the building, shouts conveying orders for an organized retreat.

“You and the grand vizier?” I asked.

“Nikidik. Yes.”