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I did my best to pick up the thread. “Flower! Yes, the seldom seen…Amorphophallus titanum!” It was the first one that came to mind. Probably because it’s the most memorably horrible plant in the world. “Seek out the giant spadix wrapped by a spathe! If you go right now, you might find it before the poison kills you!”

“Hurry!” Yudit said. “Before you—Urk! Oh no! I die.” She dropped her head to the withered grass, her eyes staring at nothing and her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“DEATH HAS COME!” Sunbeam screamed. “FLY, YOU FOOL!”

Without another word (or eight), the dragon turned and bounded back onto the bridge. After a running start, they spread their too-small wings and launched awkwardly into the air, flapping to stay aloft as they headed for the far north. They’d been so mighty in battle that we never could have won through force of arms, but Sunbeam had managed to capitalize upon their sole weakness.

Stupidity.

I dismounted and went to Yudit, the grass perking up as I knelt beside her. “How bad is it?”

“Could be worse. Got the wind knocked out of me. Glad we had the armor—it took the brunt of the damage. I’ll have a bruise the size of a melon in the morning, though.”

I could tell she was downplaying how much pain she was in. Since she wasn’t screaming or spitting blood, I hoped she would be fine with some rest.

She tried to sit up again, but I gently pushed her back down. “You might want to stay there until we’re sure the dragon can’t see you. If you suddenly return to life, that might raise some questions.” We could certainly still see the dragon; a creature that huge would be visible for a while yet.

“Works for me,” Yudit said. “I’ll just lie here, then.” She closed her eyes.

“So,” came Sunbeam’s voice from behind me, along with another blast of very bad horse breath. “Have I proven my worth?”

I could hardly deny it. “I would say so, yes.” His cleverness had unquestionably been responsible for our survival. I wasn’t going to dismiss that out of hand just because I wanted to do things for myself. “What’s Anoplo-whatever-you-said?”

“Anoplocephala perfoliata. Horse tapeworm. What’s Amorphophallus titanum?”

“Corpse flower. It’s a great big plant with a blossom that stinks like hell. They don’t grow in Ecossia, so the dragon isn’t likely to find one anytime soon.”

A few minutes later, our elder sister’s carriage pulled up and Gruoch stepped out. I wouldn’t say she looked pleased, but then, I’m not sure that could ever have been said of her.

“It’s nae dead,” she complained before speaking another word. “Ye were supposed tae kill it.”

“Them,” I said.

“What?”

“You’re welcome, sis,” Yudit called up from the ground. “Oh, wait, you never said thank you, did you?”

Gruoch glared at her. “If ye’d done what I asked—”

“No, it’s only a minor injury, you’re so kind to check how I’m doing.”

I decided to intervene before Yudit got herself kicked in the head by an angry duchess. “You didn’t tell us to kill the dragon,” I said. “You told us to get rid of the dragon. A dragon which is right now off hunting for an antidote to a poison we didn’t use.”

Gruoch’s frown deepened. “Then what’s tae keep it from coming back?”

“Eh, just paint the bridge a different color,” Sunbeam said. “Give it a quick brown coat and rename it the Bridge of Poop. The dragon won’t be interested anymore.”

We all spent a moment in silent contemplation as we realized that would, in fact, probably work.

Gruoch gazed off after the dragon, now a small blob in the distance, vanishing over the northern horizon. “All richt,” she said. “I suppose ye’ve upheld yer end of the bargain. In a way.”

“I’m going to need a new suit of armor.” Yudit struggled to her feet. “And we have to find my horse.” Her dun mare had, quite wisely, run off at some point during the battle, and was nowhere to be seen.

“Fine, fine,” Gruoch said absently. “Minor considerations. Yer horse probably went straight back tae the castle. I’ll see tae it when we git thare.”

I tensed, thinking about what Gruoch might be planning for us next. If she’d meant us to die fighting the dragon, then this would be the moment she’d try to cheat her way out of our deal by murdering us herself. It usually came in the form of an invitation to the castle to celebrate the victory, with a meal, or a cup of tea, or a refreshing bath. Or in this case, perhaps a quick visit to the armory or the stable.

Gruoch put her hands on her hips and scoffed. “Stoap acting like I’m aboot tae lock ye in the Spleen Extraction Boudoir. I’m nae going tae slaughter mah own family.” When I didn’t look entirely convinced, she added, “If ye dinnae believe that, then at least believe I wouldnae kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. Speaking of which, ye’d better cough up what ye owe me.”