Page 79

“I do not,” Livie said, her voice emerging shakily. “You are so attentive to your honor,” she told Joshua. “But you’ve deliberately arrested a man on false grounds? I gather you knew of this plan before your butler enacted it?”

Joshua turned rather pale, but he said, “My honor is less important than you.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” Daisy said, jumping to her feet. “Don’t forget to dispatch the major to Lady Regina, Livie. After you’re proposed to, I mean.” With a giggle and flip of her skirts, she headed for the door.

Joshua reached out and gathered Livie’s hands. “I owe you an apology. I lost my temper and misjudged you. But more importantly, I made the wrong choice. You are the woman who will be my partner—my life. I should have listened to you and helped you, above all others. Will you still marry me, Livie?”

Livie drew in a shuddering breath. She couldn’t marry him. Not now. “I understand why you felt angry.” Her eyes searched his strong jaw, clenched and tense, before she finally met his eyes. The blaze there was purely masculine—and possessive.

He wouldn’t accept a flimsy excuse. He had been wracked by a conflict between his honor and his future wife. Now he had chosen her, and he would never turn back.

“From this moment forward, I will always support you and take your feelings into account before anything or anyone else,” Joshua said, his voice deep with passion. He brought her left hand to his lips and kissed her palm.

Livie could feel a flush rising in her cheeks. “No.”

His eyes locked on hers. “No, you refuse to marry me?”

She freed her hands. “Yes.” Tears were threatening to close her throat. “I will not marry you.”

“Because of your father’s possible crime? I don’t care, Livie. If the military doesn’t approve of you as my wife, I’ll leave the army. I have an inheritance. We can go—”

“No,” she bit out. “I don’t want to marry you.”

Savage incredulity crossed his eyes. Some small part of her registered that Major FitzRoy was not used to being denied. His eyes darkened like a storm, and his jaw clenched. “Because I lost my temper? I realize that I acted like an ass.”

Livie cleared her throat, telling herself again that she couldn’t allow him to sacrifice himself. He would. He would throw away a brilliant career to marry an illegitimate woman, simply because he had made a promise to her.

Oddly enough, she saw a parallel: Captain Sir Tyron had promised his loyalty to the treasonous Cassio and would go down with the ship—metaphorically. Joshua had promised his loyalty to her, and would likewise be true to his word despite the consequences. But she’d be damned if Joshua would lose everything he loved to be with her. He wasn’t a man who could be happy growing potatoes.

“Our behavior at the masquerade was shocking,” she managed, her heart banging against her ribs. “I will not marry you.”

He cleared his throat. “I cannot excuse my actions at the masquerade. I took advantage of your innocence.”

“And then you claimed that I dishonored you,” Livie pointed out. “After you had discarded the rules of gentlemanly behavior. I cannot marry with the knowledge that my husband will not only abrogate his own honor on occasion, but accuse me of the same. I did not ask you to dishonor yourself when I told you of my father’s plight. I merely asked for help … for your advice.”

“I understand,” he said evenly. “Is there any chance I can change your mind?”

She shook her head, swallowing hard.

“Perhaps with greater acquaintance?” he suggested.

“No,” she stated. “I ask you to honor my decision, Major FitzRoy. I have given it much thought, and we both lowered ourselves that evening. I shudder to think what my … my father would think of my behavior. He has often warned me that when a woman stoops to indelicacy, she risks falling to the depths of depraved behavior. I have concluded that I must seek a spouse who will be a prop to righteousness.”

“Livie—” But he stopped.

“I never want to give another man the right to accuse me of impropriety,” she added. “You and my father set out a pattern that I am determined to break.”

A heavy silence hung in the room as Livie forced back another sob. She actually saw Joshua withdraw behind a front of immovable chill.

“If that is your decision, I cannot gainsay it,” he said. “To tell the truth, I would spend my life kissing you in every room or wardrobe in our house, Livie. I do not believe that ‘depravity’ applies to the behavior of a man and woman who love each other.”

Unable to meet his eyes again, she looked down at her hands, shaking her head.

“Nonetheless, I request the honor of helping you,” Joshua said. “Why did you wish me to visit Lady Regina?”

Livie lifted her head. Joshua’s gaze was that of a military man, a mere acquaintance.

“She employs Bernadette, the French maid who previously worked in this household,” she explained. “We believe that Bernadette deciphered the coded letters and passed them on to her compatriots.” She felt as if her heart was breaking, but she managed to keep her voice even.