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I stand rooted to the spot for what feels like five minutes before I rush to the door. I reach for the knob, but no matter how loud my mind screams at me to open the door and run, I can’t do it.

Besides the fact that the Bratva might already know about me, I just can’t betray Rowan’s trust.

My eyes drift shut as the realization hits. No matter his past and what he continues to do, I can’t stop falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

I let go of the knob and lock the door before heading to the bathroom. While I take my time showering, tears spill over my cheeks.

I cry for everything I’m leaving behind. Security. My friends. My apartment. My belongings. My job.

I loved all of those things, and it’s difficult to think they’ll never be a part of my life again.

And soon I’ll have to give up my identity.

A sob bursts from me, and I cover my mouth as I crouch down in the stall. The water continues to run over my body, and it feels like it’s washing everything away.

Who I was. Who I am now. Who I could’ve become.

By the time the last tear falls, I feel hollowed out and utterly lost.

My mind gives up the fight, and as I turn off the shower and step out of the stall to dry off, it latches onto the only solid thing I have in my life right now.

Rowan.

I clean my glasses and put them on before getting dressed and brushing my teeth and hair. Once I’m done, I wipe the steam from the mirror and stare at my reflection, finding it hard to recognize the woman looking back at me.

Are you really going to sacrifice it all for a man?

Her expression turns sad, and a lost sob flutters over her lips.

I can’t help it. Please forgive me.

“Annie?” Rowan calls from the other side of the door. “Are you okay?”

Turning away from my reflection, I rush to yank the door open before plowing into his chest. I fold my arms around him, needing comfort and reassurance.

“I’m scared,” I whimper. “I don’t know who I am anymore, and I’m scared of everything.”

Rowan engulfs me in a tight hug, his body curving around mine. His hand presses against the back of my head, and his beard brushes over the side of my face. “You are the most incredible person, Annie. Kind, caring, patient, and such a bright fucking light, it blinds me at times.” He kisses my ear. “You don’t have to be scared. I won’t let anything happen to you. I will protect you with my final breath.”

I grip him tighter, trying to steal some of the strength from his body.

His lips brush over my jaw, and I feel them move as he groans, “I love you.”

The three words sound strained, as if he had to dig them out of the darkest pit and drag them through hell to give them to me.

“It’s the first time I’ve ever said that to anyone, Annie. I want you to understand how much you mean to me so that you will know I’ll keep you safe against the world. You are all that matters to me now.”

My focus shifts from myself to Rowan. Tilting my head back, I stare into his eyes, which are incredibly gentle. The look is in total contrast to the ones I’ve grown accustomed to seeing.

I lift my hands to cup his jaw, the bristles rough, just like the rest of him.

I don’t know what to reply to his declaration of love, so I push up on my tiptoes and press my mouth tenderly to his.

His words settle deep in my heart, so deep I know I’ll never be able to get them out.

Pulling back, I say, “It’s your turn to shower.”

He doesn’t look disappointed because I’m not responding to what he said, and I’m grateful for that.