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I lift my other arm and say, “Come closer. Body heat will help.”
Instead of telling me to go to hell, she presses against my side, and when I place my arm around her, she asks, “Why aren’t you cold?”
“Muscle holds heat.”
I close my eyes again, and before I can drift into a light sleep, Annie whispers, “Why are there people like you who do what they want with no regard for others?”
For a moment, I think about her question before answering, “Because it’s never enough. People always want more power, more wealth, more control. Bastien wanted to rule the world, so he created a weapon everyone would fear.” I let out a heavy sigh that sounds like it comes from the bottomless dark pit of my soul.
“You were the weapon,” she states. When I remain quiet, she says, “Still, you would’ve killed Harlan and Miles if they got in the way, because you want me and have no regard for how I feel.”
I let out a chuckle that rumbles into the darkness. “I have no regard for how you feel?” Another one vibrates from my chest. “I spared their lives for you because I knew it would break your heart if I killed them.”
“Jesus, Rowan!” She sits up, and I can feel her eyes burning on me. “You’re not some god who gets to spare people’s lives.”
“I know,” I murmur, my voice low and rough around the edges. “I don’t think I’m a god, Annie. I know exactly who I am. Men like me don’t pretend to be good. We just choose who we’re willing to be monsters for.” I open my eyes and turn my head toward her. “You think I don’t care how you feel, but every line I haven’t crossed since you walked into my life says otherwise.” My jaw flexes. “Everyone in that bar would be dead if I didn’t care about you.” I lift my hand to her face and brush my knuckle over the line of her jaw. “You’d be dead if I didn’t care about you.”
Her face crumbles, and her tears shine in the starlight as they roll down her cheeks. “Why do you have to be bad?”
“Because this is all I’ve known until I met you.”
“Don’t kill again,” she begs.
“I can’t promise you that, my light,” I whisper as I catch her tears with a gentle swipe of my thumb.
She gives me a pleading look that makes me wish I could be a better man, her voice cracking over the words. “But why?”
“Men like the ones I took out last night will always be out there. I betrayed the Bratva, and they won’t stop hunting me until I’m dead.”
“So you’re just going to live like this? On the road and killing whoever gets in your way?”
“I have an escape plan, and to get to it, I will do whatever I have to. It’s either us or them.” I let out a sigh, my eyes caressing her face. “I will always choose us.”
She sits a little straighter. “An escape plan?”
I nod as I pull her back down so my body can warm hers.
“We’re going to a coastal town in Peru. I have a new identity waiting in Mexico with enough funds to get us to our final destination, where we will be able to settle. It’s a place where the locals don’t ask questions, and we can disappear.”
“If you cared about me, you would give me a choice.” Her voice sounds small in the vast space around us. “You wouldn’t force me to go with you.”
I press a kiss to her hair and tighten my arm around her. “If I don’t force you, the Bratva will find you.”
“I’ll go to the police for help.”
My voice grows softer as my body begs for sleep. “The police are no match for them.”
“But—”
“I’ve been awake for two days. Let me just get three hours’ sleep, then we can continue this conversation.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
Within seconds, I drift off, but not too deep. In the back of my mind, where I’m always on guard, I hear Annie’s soft breaths.
As the night grows colder, she presses closer against my side, and at some point, she throws her leg over mine and lies half on top of me.
It feels perfect.
