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“Oh yeah, you’re happy for me. You hope everything works out, huh?” He sucked his teeth, and his jaw clenched in frustration.

“I do. I’m happy you don’t have to pretend anymore. I gotta go, and I don’t want your food to burn,” she chuckled as she pointed toward his house. “Have a good night, and take care.” She waved as she pulled her gear shift into drive.

“Yup, you too.”

Bleu fought against the frustrated tears that wanted to run rampant down her cheeks. She felt like she was going through a very real breakup, and that shit only added to the hurt she felt over this entire situation. Once her groceries were put away, Bleu showered, slipped into a casual short set, grabbed napkins, a blanket, her favorite bottle of wine and water, and her food, and made the twelve-minute drive to the cemetery.

Once there, she pulled into her usual parking space, grabbed her tote, and headed toward the same grave she came to visit every July the eighteenth. Bleu placed a blanket next to her best friend, Aliccia Davies' grave, sat down, and took a bite of her pizza when she heard movement behind her. Turning around, she hopped up and rushed toward her cousin in a full-on crying fit.

“Oh my God, Cariyelle,” Bleu squeezed her tight as she cried on her shoulder. “I knew I’d hear from you today, but you don’t know how happy I am that you made the drive to visit me in person. The day nearly took what was left of my sanity.” Bleu managed to explain as she cried on her cousin’s shoulder.

“I know, Bleu, everything is gonna be okay in time, sweetie. And I told you I’d come every chance I could for this day.” She wrapped an arm around Bleu’s shoulder as they headed back to the blanket. “I know how hard tomorrow morning is for you. I know you miss Aliccia. I do too. But is something else bothering you, honey? You seem more emotionally unstable than normal. Aliccia didn’t pass away until just after midnight. You’re usually this messed up a couple days later.”

Bleu had to cackle at her cousin’s observation. Besides the woman whose grave she sat next to, Cariyelle was the only other woman who knew her like the back of her hand. Cariyelle Lenox was Bleu’s first cousin. She was tough and gorgeous. She was a dark chocolate BBW with long, flowing, naturally curly hair and light brown eyes. She was a confident, smart paralegal who ran her own vehicle cleaning service on the side and could whoop ass while taking names.

Cariyelle had been her cheerleader since they were in diapers, and Bleu had been just as vocal behind her cousin. They’d built an unbeatable bond that was still solid to this day. When Aliccia’s family moved to town when the girls were in second grade, Bleu, Cariyelle, and Aliccia became inseparable and had each other's backs since childhood. Losing Aliccia had been a devastating blow for them both.

When Aliccia passed away four years ago from aggressive liver cancer, it nearly destroyed them both. While they both took it hard, along with everyone’s family and the whole town, Bleu struggled and needed therapy and suicide watch because her death affected her so deeply. Cariyelle moved to Savannah, only forty minutes away. Aliccia’s family left Georgia altogether and moved to Florida.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” She nodded in agreement. “First, this year, I tried to be stronger in preparation for this day. But I found a few books Aliccia wrote, in some of the things her parents mailed to me earlier this year, along with some of her jewelry, and I lost them.”

“I knew everything wasn’t fine when I talked to you the last couple of times we talked on the phone, Bleu. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” Cariyelle asked, truly disappointed that Bleu had kept something so crucial from her.

“I don’t know, Cari,” Bleu shrugged with her head lowered. “I didn’t want to be a bother. I feel like through everything since Aliccia died, you’ve had my back more than I had yours. You have picked me up and caught me when I was drowning so many times I lost count. You have been there, but I know I haven’t been giving that same energy because I’ve been constantly drowning in my grief bubble. I just wanted to give you a break from looking out for me.”

“Bleu, you have the good fortune to have me as your family and your best friend. You know I don’t operate like that. I don’t judge this friendship by how many times I have your back or how many times you have mine. We are not in a race to see who does more for whom. Life will always level the playing field by who needs what. And what I mean by that is that we help each other with whatever we see the other struggling with that we know we’re good at. I couldn’t fight for a long time back in the day, but you were beating ass and showing me how to fight. I didn’t know how to do hair, but in high school, you never let me go to school looking crazy because you knew how to style it for me. Neither of us was much of a cook, but Aliccia made sure her ghetto hood meals kept us nice and full. You taught Aliccia math, and you taught me and her how to ride a bike and roller skate. You see where I’m going with this, Bleu?” Cariyelle asked. She was genuinely concerned for her cousin’s mental health.

“Yes, I do.”

“I just so happen to be able to handle death and grief a little better than you, Bleu. But you could drive before me and Aliccia, and you made sure that we knew exactly how to defend ourselves if shit ever went south with a nigga. Hell, I still know how to choke a nigga out and shoot a muthafucka and never miss, thanks to you. So don’t ever do that again, Bleu. If you need me and I don’t already know, call me. I don’t care if it’s just to cry. Lord knows I started blowing up your line in college and during several breakups. I am really hurt that you did that. Don’t do it again, or we boxing.”

“Yes ma’am,” Bleu chuckled as they hugged. “Yo,” she said after a few minutes. “I don’t care what the fuck our parents say, but all that shit you just said reminded me that we took care of our damn selves. Hell, we should’ve reported their asses because we were all over Pleasureville being the damn adults.”

“Hell yeah,” Cariyelle agreed, laughing. “Because shit, Faith, Aliccia’s oldest sister, taught us about our periods. And their neighbor's older brother taught us all how to play spades with our young asses.”

“Yup,” Bleu smiled at the memories. “He sure did. Man, the memories. We had an amazing childhood, and we grew into some amazing women.” Bleu sighed heavily as tears filled her eyes. “We were supposed to grow old together, though.”

“Yeah, that was the plan,” Cariyelle teared up as they placed their hands against Aliccia’s tombstone. “But just look at it like we now have our own guardian angel watching over us. You know she’s watching too because she was nosey as hell.”

The cousins cackled at just how nosey their friend was. They spent the next two hours reminiscing, crying, and laughing about all of the amazing times they’d shared over the years. After devouring the pizza wings and wine, Cariyelle broke out the pre-rolls. Once they were high as hell, they watched the stars and caught up on each other's lives. Shortly after, Cariyelle followed Bleu back home, where they talked shit and laughed until they fell asleep a few hours later. Around five in the morning, Cariyelle woke up and began getting ready for her ride home.

“I know you have to go, but I don’t want you to,” Bleu pouted as she walked her cousin to her truck. “I’m gonna miss you too much when you leave.”

“I know, I’m gonna miss you too, Bleu, but I’ll be back in October for our girls' weekend foolishness, and you’re coming to spend my birthday weekend with me at the end of August, so we’re going to see each other again soon. In the meantime, you just make sure you take your hot ass next door and tell that man how you feel. You can’t feel no typa way if you don’t let your feelings be known.” Cariyelle said as she crawled behind the wheel.

“I hear you, Cari, but I think it’s too late to say anything at this point. Trey and his ex are probably back together now.

“Girl bye, I’d walk over there fast as fuck and get my man. I wouldn’t care what hoe is over there. But don’t none of that shit even matter, though, because if everything is true about that man like you told me, then he’s fallen just as hard for you as you have for him. And you know Aliccia would’ve told that woman right off the bat that she was taking her man and wouldn’t have given two fucks if the relationship was real or fake.”

“Whew, ain’t that the truth,” Bleu giggled at how wild and outspoken her friend was. “That girl was a hot mess. She pulled no punches and didn’t bite her tongue for shit.”

“Exactly, Bleu Belle, so in honor of our best friend, go get your man.”

“Meh, I’ll think about it.” Bleu waved her cousin off. “I think I’d rather nurse my wounds and get over him in time. I really ain’t tryin’ to put on my big girl panties and do any kinda adulting right now or in the near future.”

“Okay, hardheaded ass,” Laughing, Cariyelle shook her head. “I love you. I’ll call you when I get home.”

“Chow, babe, love you just as much! Safe travels.” Bleu waved, watching until Cariyelle’s taillights disappeared from view.