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Fletch watched him.

July had no clue about Fletch’s thoughts. There was a weird stasis trapped between being friends again and Fletch eyeing him like he couldn’t be trusted.

“Here. There’s another bottle of that color. I know how much you love pink.”

July flashed Fletch a smile. “Thank you for this. I needed the distraction.”

Fletch nodded and went back to focusing on his work.

Honestly, the entire situation was confusing. July was exhausted by life. He wished someone would just be straightforward with him. July felt as if everyone he dealt with was tiptoeing around him. They certainly weren’t giving him any information on the situation with Rex. Hurt or not, he couldn’t hide at The PlayPen for the rest of his life. Still, he understood he was safest here. Leaving the country probably wouldn’t have lasted long. Rex had too much power to believe he wouldn’t find July.

“Thank you for coming for me.” July kept his eyes on his art while he spoke. “From the way Dr. Agafonov spoke, I guess I would’ve been dead in less than twelve hours if you hadn’t.”

“You can thank Austen’s husband, Rain, and his brothers. They’re the experts at moving silently, quickly, and decisively. I probably wouldn’t have been so discreet.”

July smiled. He could picture Fletch kicking the door in and snatching a screaming and crying July from his bed.

“A smile. Damn. That’s good to see.”

At the words, July lifted his chin. “I can picture the way you’d handle it. But what I meant was, thank you for helping me when I know I don’t deserve it.”

Fletch scowled. “Don’t say shit like that. To me, you’re worth it.”

July managed a tight smile. Fletch didn’t understand what it was like to be him. He always felt as if he should apologize for his existence. If July had learned nothing else in life, he knew everything had a price. He simply waited to see the price tag on this assistance. July had already given up his soul to survive. He didn’t have anything else left to give.

A perfunctory knock landed on the door before swinging open. Beau strolled in.

July’s heart dropped. It seemed he didn’t have to wait to learn his fate after all. He hadn’t thought about where Beau stood on all this. While Beau commanded a fierce presence, July wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone except Rex. Everyone else could only harm his body. Rex knew how to destroy his mind.

Beau’s gaze moved over July before landing on Fletch. “Wait outside.”

Fletch stood without question. He was a soldier. July expected nothing less than for him to obey his general. He wasn’t offended.

Once Fletch was gone, Beau commandeered his empty chair. His gaze dropped to the shirt July worked to decorate. He nodded as if he approved of July’s work. Then his hard brown eyes focused on July, except they weren’t cold today.

“Tell me.”

July swallowed. Of all the things July expected, this wasn’t one. “Where would you like me to start?” He wouldn’t play dumb or dodge.

“Anywhere you’d like, as long as you include how you ultimately ended up in this position.”

With a nod, July set his paint aside and fiddled with its position to avoid Beau’s stare. “To make a long story short, my parents lost custody of me, only for me to be sent to live with my dad’s parents, which was so much worse. The only out I saw was the military. You know how that went, apparently. I guess I have a lot of unresolved feelings and that makes me good at killing people.” July almost snorted. In the end, he hadn’t possessed the courage to kill the one person who needed killing the most. “Um, anyhow, I got out and found I wasn’t good at holding a job. Mental health and all, but also too dumb to get therapy.”

“I’m sure that option felt like a humiliating one considering how hard life had forced you to be.”

July nodded. He was surprised Beau would recognize that. “I ended up stripping in this popular club that had enough dancers it didn’t matter if I showed up or not. Of course I was there more often than not since the money was good and life is expensive.” July finally forced himself to meet Beau’s stare. “Not to mention, I could lose myself there. I got to be the guy who likes adorable clothes that are outrageous to other people. After work, I could go home and play dress-up with my dolls and experiment with makeup.” July cleared his throat, which still hurt and sounded like it.

“Then Rex showed up several weekends in a row, always requesting me and tipping like a billionaire. I enjoyed his company. He made me feel at peace with myself.” July snorted so hard, the sound tore at his damaged vocal cords. A self-deprecating smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, remembering those days when he had thought he was jaded. Rex had shown him what real bitterness looked like. “He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse: a lot of money to use my military training to work for him for more money than I had ever seen in my life.” July shook his head. He felt like an idiot. “I don’t know why I thought his offer was genuine. Not that I had much of a chance to think about it. Rex simply flipped my world upside down. The next thing I knew, I was being love-bombed, which I didn’t know was a thing at the time. He bought me a ridiculously expensive car and then a house. About a year in, Rex told me he had a wife, but only for appearance since he had a very bureaucratic job.” July shrugged. “I believed what I wanted because I had a life I’d never had before. My rose-colored glasses were firmly in place. I got to buy all the clothes, shoes, and makeup. My days were filled with iced coffee and shopping. He loved the way I dressed and acted. Rex supposedly enjoyed being my daddy.” He swallowed, forcing down the pain that one statement brought him. July stared at a spot over Beau’s shoulder. “I really wanted that to be true. Before him, I didn’t understand myself. I didn’t know our relationship was a thing that wasn’t that uncommon. I’d always been ashamed and convinced my weirdness was what made me unlovable, and suddenly, I was loved for exactly who I am.” His gaze shifted back to Beau. “You can’t know how badly I wanted the dream he painted to be true.” He looked away again. “Anyhow, things slowly changed—small acts of violence: outbursts and too-intense spankings. It wasn’t long before I realized he enjoyed making me cry, so I did so quickly to keep the pain to a minimum. Then I was working for real, doing things I never dreamed I could. Things I wish I could forget. When I met Leary, I should’ve known there was a reason he let me keep him as a friend. When he ordered me to put up cameras and hide listening devices in Leary’s house, I did so, knowing full well he wouldn’t learn anything about Leary’s dad. We were friends. I knew he didn’t see his dad unless forced. Then he met JJ.”

July held Beau’s stare, silently begging Beau to believe him. “When I showed up to that surprise engagement party, I didn’t know you had found those listening devices and cameras. Rex had already spoken with you before I got there. He knew about the party and sent me in blindly.” July turned inward. Some admissions hurt more than others. “I think he planned for you to kill me. None of this occurred to me until later, but he seemed surprised when I came home. I think he expected you would kill me so he could use my death to bring you down. Rex didn’t know Banks had pled for my life. He sent me in there to die, and when I didn’t…” July swallowed. He couldn’t bring himself to relive what happened afterward and then again after the wedding. “Now here I am, on my hundredth time of barely escaping death all so I could watch Leary get married.” July nodded, even though he didn’t know why. He felt like he was just rambling at this point. “It was worth it.” He forced himself to pull back from the memories and look into Beau’s eyes. “Did I miss anything you’d like to know?”

Beau never showed an ounce of emotion during July’s story. He was glad for that. If Beau had shown even a hint of disbelief, July would have locked down, chalking Beau up to being another person who thought Rex could do no wrong.

“Would it have made a difference if we had pretended not to know about your presence at the wedding?”

July made a helpless gesture. “I covered my tracks the best I could so Rex wouldn’t find out I was there. Like always, he knew my every step. Honestly, I thought you had told him.”

Beau leaned back in his chair. He wore an unreadable mask, but his eyes told another story. Rage shone brightly in his stare. July didn’t know what that meant. If his anger was directed at July, so be it, he guessed. The life had gone out of him a long time ago. He didn’t have the energy to care.