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But it had all been a lie. He hadn’t known it was her. Would he have kissed her with such passion if he had known? Would he have touched her with such reverence?

Honoria straightened, adjusting her mask and smoothing her gown with trembling hands. Her bodice was torn, and she had to hold it together or risk it slipping down entirely. She fanned herself with one hand, trying to will her mind back under control.

Concentrate, Honoria. Focus.

She was supposed to tell the earl about the children and tell him to go home. Now, that plan of action was no longer possible.

She needed to get home.

More importantly, she wanted to get back home. The hesitation, the ache in her chest, were all the signs telling her that she would never have the heart to leave this family behind.

And now that she had known the taste of his lips…

Things had changed. She wasn’t certain in which direction, but they had.

She could not just leave the children behind with a cold note. She could not leave Caldwell behind without telling him the truth about this night—about her feelings toward him.

No. She was being ridiculous. Her mind swung back from one extreme to the other.

One passionate encounter in a darkened room didn’t change anything. He hadn’t known it was her. He had been expecting a courtesan, a woman paid to please him. What had happened between them was nothing more than a momentary escape for him, a fantasy that would dissolve in the light of day.

And yet…

She couldn’t silence the voice in her head that whispered: What if?

What if she stayed? What if she found the courage to tell him the truth? What if, by some miracle, he felt even a fraction of what she felt?

Her thoughts were jumbled, and she knew she wasn’t in the best state to make life-altering decisions. But the clock didn’t care.

She pulled out her timepiece.

Two minutes to midnight.

She had two minutes to decide whether she would be leaving this life behind or staying and fighting for her place in it.

If she stayed, there were no guarantees. No promise that the earl would return her affections. No certainty he would even allow her to remain as his housekeeper after she revealed her feelings for him.

And if she revealed her true identity, there would be no future for them at all.

One thing was clear—if she decided to stay, she would need to make major changes to her life.

She could not remain the quiet, unassuming, cowardly housekeeper. She could not watch Caldwell marry another woman and sire an heir or two. She would not only need to fight for the love of the man of her dreams, but also for the life she wanted—nay, deserved—to lead.

Two minutes was far too little time to make such a monumental choice.

And yet… in her heart, Honoria knew there had never really been a choice.

She was going to stay.

And she was going to fight.

Chapter 15

The first thing Honoria did upon coming home—drenched in rain, hem caked with mud, bodice ripped, and hair disheveled—was burn the letters she’d written to the children. Her fingers trembled as she held each page to the candle flame, watching the paper curl and blacken, her once-resolute words turning to ash before her eyes.

She was not leaving this household. Her mind was made up on that. The thought settled into her chest with a finality that both terrified and exhilarated her.

The second thing she did was clean her gown and attempt to repair it as best she could—which wasn’t much. The mud would eventually come out, and the skirt could be mended, but the torn bodice would forever hold the reminder of last night’s adventure.