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“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, his breaths heavy.

“We shouldn’t?”

“Bea… you’re an innocent young lady—”

“I am about to marry.”

“Exactly.”

“I am to marry an old man. Why can’t we—” She paused and bit her lip, her chest rising and falling with her deep breaths. “Why can’t I enjoy some passion in the meantime?”

Because it’s wrong. No matter how right it feels. “You can… I just… I don’t think I should be experiencing that passion with you.”

She blinked in surprise, then looked away. “I apologize if you don’t enjoy my kisses.”

“It’s not that!” It’s the opposite.

She looked at him, hurt and disappointment written on her face. “You said you’d help me accomplish anything I wish to do before my marriage.”

“Anything on the list.”

Her face contorted briefly, and her hands tightened in fists by her sides. “What if it was? Would you do it?”

“Bea…”

“Answer me. What if it was on the list? To experience true passion before my inevitable marriage, would you do it?”

“I-I don’t know.” And he truly didn’t. He wanted it. He wanted her. But it wasn’t just his unwillingness to deflower somebody else’s future wife. He didn’t care about Lansdowne one bit. It was his own feelings he was worried about. If he tasted her, truly tasted her, if he had a moment of bliss in her arms, he wasn’t certain he would be able to let her go.

He would have to leave her, though. For the first time in his life, he’d found direction. Purpose.

Now Beatrice stood between him and his purpose.

And at this moment, he almost didn’t care. His need for her overpowered every other resolution he had. His desire for her clouded every rational thought in his mind. What if he let go of his dream and purpose… for the woman in front of him?

She nodded slowly, then looked at him with furrowed brows. “Then help me find some other man who would agree to that.”

“What?” Adam startled himself by the force and intensity of his question. His prior resolutions and thoughts disappeared in the wake of her new request.

Beatrice reared back in surprise or horror. “What?”

Adam ran a hand through his hair. How did they get to this? He stalked toward her and grabbed her upper arms. “You want me to find some random man to kiss you? And can you just kiss some other man the way you kiss me? Will you happily allow another man liberties?”

She shook his hands off her and pressed a hand against his chest as if to keep him away. Instead, she drew him in with her heat and softness. “I am about to share a bed with a man of more than seventy years. What does it matter who I lie with before that inevitable day?”

It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. The thought of Beatrice in another man’s arms just angered him. “So, you don’t care who you experience passion with. As long as he’s younger than Lansdowne.”

“And pleasant to look at,” she said confidently.

His brows furrowed. “That’s all you require?”

She crossed her arms below her breasts, pressing them upward, distracting him. “Currently, yes.”

So, that’s what he was to her? Just a random man who was not her betrothed? A man who was young enough and handsome enough to bed. A distraction before the inevitable.

Here he was with his heart bleeding, contemplating giving up his dream for her, and she just wanted a good tupping. “And what is it exactly that you want to experience with that man?”

She shrugged. “I know that passion goes beyond kissing. There is more that happens between a man and a woman. I-I read about such things, but I am not… I don’t know for sure what that is. And I’d like a gentleman to teach me.”