Page 43

So what? A part of him screamed from the inside, threatening to erupt. “Is he still in London?”

Beatrice looked up at him, her brows furrowed. She didn’t look angry or even sad. Just confused. “No, he left for Northumberland to prepare for the wedding. Why?”

Adam propped his fists against his sides. “Because I would like to have a word with him.”

“You can’t.” Beatrice pushed away from the bed and approached him slowly.

Of course, he could. He could catch up with him on the way to his precious Northumberland. Adam was already planning his route to the scoundrel’s home when Beatrice spoke again.

“And I don’t want you to.” Her quiet words snapped Adam back into reality. She stood just a foot away from him now, not looking at him, as if afraid to look into his eyes. “You know as well as I do that it won’t make anything better for me. Worse, perhaps.”

Adam flexed his fists. She was right. Confronting Lansdowne would do neither of them any good. And as soon as Beatrice married the man, it could spell doom for her. But it spelled doom for her either way, didn’t it?

Adam forced his breaths to come evenly and his rage to settle down, but her next words didn’t help at all.

“It was my first kiss, you know,” she whispered.

His eyes wide, he watched as tears rolled down her cheeks.

At that moment, he realized that he was going about this all wrong. He was incredibly mad at the man who was hundreds of miles away when he should have been consoling the woman in front of him.

He remembered her foolish little list.

Item number six: To experience a proper kiss for the first time.

He remembered laughing at her naivete when he’d read that item for the first time. He remembered how ardently she defended it, defended herself from a heartless brute like himself. She was a dreamer. A romantic.

His heart squeezed as he realized why that item was even on her list. She wanted her first kiss to be with a young, handsome stranger, not her old, deranged, and lecherous husband. And yet he’d forced it out of her even before their marriage. Subjected her to his lustful, disgusting pawing….

Adam started getting angry again. He fisted his hands by his sides and took a deep breath.

He remembered his own first kiss with a village girl he was infatuated with. He remembered how flustered and out of sorts he was and how he went to bed exhilarated that night. In sharp contrast to his memories, Beatrice would likely remember her first kiss with horror. And even more horrible times would come after she married.

Adam grimaced and shook off the ugly thoughts. He didn’t want to think about this. And he didn’t want Beatrice to think about it either. He took a step toward her and, without words, pulled her into his embrace.

She didn’t protest. Her face burrowed into his chest, and she clung to him as her little body shook with sobs.

Adam ran his hands along her back, his chin resting on top of her head, trying to comfort this naive little bluestocking who just wanted to experience the pleasant side of life before it became… unpleasant.

Unbearable.

He tipped her chin, then framed her face with his hands, his thumbs chasing away the tears. “I’ll help you erase that memory.”

She whispered, “How can you?”

“By replacing it with a better one.”

She shook her head, not to reject his words, but as though she didn’t understand their meaning.

Adam tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and whispered, “Like this.”

He dipped his head and pressed his lips against hers.

It wasn’t a kiss. Barely a nudge. But after what that monster did—and Adam didn’t want to know what exactly he did, he’d heard and seen enough—all he wanted to give was gentleness. He wanted her to let him know if she wanted more. And she did.

Her lips parted, and Adam slowly tugged at her lips one after another. He slid his tongue, tentatively, tasting her salty tears. Instead of pulling back, she let out a soft, sweet sigh and wove her arms around his neck.

She pressed her breasts against his chest, no stays or corset, only flimsy fabric separating their bodies. Adam snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer, his other arm cradling the back of her neck, his fingers playing with the loose strands of her hair.