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“Helen,” Anna finally said once Helen met her gaze. “You might no’ have had an English ceremony, but ye are married to my brother.”

Now it was time for Helen to be confused, to the point that the tears dried in her eyes. “Pardon me?”

“The moment Ian declared ye as his wife, and ye confirmed it in front o’ witnesses, by Scottish law, ye are indeed married.”

Chapter 27

Helen’s mind still whirled in disbelief when a few minutes later she entered Ian’s bedroom. He lifted his head from the papers he’d been sifting through as he sat on the bed and threw her a quick grin. “We need to order you a gown or two for the road. Perhaps Anna’s quine can fix some of hers before we leave.”

He sounded so nonchalant, an easy smile on his lips as if nothing was wrong. And for him, nothing was. For Helen, the entire world came crashing down.

He’d promised not to lie to her, and yet he’d manipulated her into a marriage she was adamant about not wanting. And although the refusal to wed him was for his benefit, not hers, the lie still stung.

Or perhaps it stung even more because while she was thinking of him, he was selfishly thinking of himself.

“Your father gave me the deed to a Dunrossness estate,” she said, trying her best to pronounce it right.

Ian put away the papers and awarded Helen his full attention. “Did he now?”

“Yes, it’s made out to Lord Ian McAllistair and his wife.” She walked toward him and handed him the deed. Her voice was flat, and she didn’t even try to insert any emotion because she had none left. “He said he wants us to come to visit more often. He told me he was glad his son had found a loving relationship.”

“Helen, what’s wrong?” He stood and softly nudged her chin to look at him.

“I asked you not to lie to me,” she whispered, unable to speak louder.

“And I didn’t.” There. He did it again.

“So we aren’t married by Scottish law?”

He clenched his jaw but didn’t say a word, his silence speaking volumes.

“How could you do that?” Helen took a step back, rubbing her hands over her arms from the cold that suddenly assailed her.

“Do what? Claim you as my wife? What was I supposed to do? You were so sick, you were delirious. How would you have liked me to introduce you to my family?”

“You were supposed to tell me the truth!” she cried. “You were supposed to tell me what that meant!”

“When I introduced you as my wife to my family, that was reversible. But I told you that the moment we stepped out on the ballroom floor, everyone would know you as my wife, and our fates would be intertwined, and you didn’t protest.”

“Everyone knowing it, and it being legally true, are two completely different things! I told you, I didn’t wish to be married.”

“You don’t have to be!” He ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. “If you don’t mind everyone thinking you are my wife, how is it different from reality? You said you never wanted to be married again, then fine, we don’t have to live together. We can be separated, and you can be free from me forever if that’s what you want. Do you think I shall restrict your freedom? You are free to do anything you want. And I will be sure to provide you with the life you want even if you don’t want to ever see me again.”

“I am not worried about myself, Ian. Now you can’t marry anyone, either! Unless you want to be known as a bigamist.”

“I don’t want to marry anyone else, Helen.” He stepped closer and enveloped her upper arms in his hands. “It might not be obvious to you after everything we’ve been through, but you are the only woman I want. It’s just you. There has never been anyone else and never will be. I love you.”

Helen turned away. “Please, take that back.”

“Never.” His words were punctuated by a squeeze to her arms, not painful, but comforting. And his voice was drenched in conviction.

“You can’t love me, Ian,” Helen murmured. “I warned you when we started that there can’t be feelings between us. Just passion.”

He stroked down her arm, took her hand, and pressed it against his chest. His heart beat rapidly into her palm with such a force that she thought it was going to jump out. “Do you feel that? How madly my heart is beating for you? I might be able to tell my brain what to think, but I can’t tell my heart what to feel. It doesn’t belong to me anymore, Helen, it belongs to you. And if you don’t feel the same way, then I will understand… But if you do, and I feel like you do, then I don’t see any other reason why we can’t be together. Why we can’t be happy and—”

Helen twisted her hand out of his and cried out with all the desperation she felt in her heart, “Because I am dying!”

There was a brief pause and when he spoke next, his voice was hoarse. “What?”