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I can still see the grin on his face.
The confidence.
The satisfaction in his eyes as he promised he’d win and make everyone choke on their words.
“I went to wait for him at the finish line,” I say with a bitter laugh. “And from there, I watched the car behind him doing everything it could to catch up—or slow him down.”
The words scrape out through clenched teeth.
Tilting my head back, I close my eyes and let the memories play out with a merciless clarity, vivid enough to make the years between then and now disappear.
I remember every detail.
Every mistake.
Every second.
Even now, I can still feel the exact moment I realized something terrible was about to happen.
“That’s also where I felt the crushing helplessness when I realized I had no way of warning him that, on the final turn, that same driver had stopped trying to win the race and decided instead to stop Denis at any cost.”
Even though I made sure the man behind that wheel would rot in prison.
Even though I made sure he’d never forget what he did and why he was there.
Nothing has ever erased the rage I feel whenever I remember that he did it on purpose.
I never forgave him.
And I never will.
His apologies didn’t matter.
His begging didn’t matter.
“Before Denis could straighten out on the road, the other car hit him so hard that his car flipped multiple times before coming to a stop upside down in the middle of a busy intersection.”
I clench my jaw and draw a deep breath, trying to withstand the pressure squeezing my chest like a giant fist.
Selene wraps her arms around me and rests her head against my shoulder, her presence alone grounding me.
“A driver who was following every traffic law saw him only when it was already too late. He couldn’t avoid the wreck and crashed directly into the driver’s side door, trapping Denis inside what was left of his car.”
Selene gasps and holds me tighter.
For a long moment, I say nothing at all.
“So Denis is here now. He’s been here for ten years and two months because of me.”
“Zayn…”
“I know what you’re going to say,” I cut in before she can continue. “The same thing that everyone says. That I didn’t cause the accident. That he chose to race. That he chose to do it alone. That I could have been in the car too.”
My gaze settles on the grass in front of me.
“And the truth is… I spent a lot of years wishing I had been.”
Selene jerks her head off my shoulder and cups my face with both hands.