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“But…” How am I supposed to say this without hurting them?

“Girls, I love you both so much, and I’m incredibly grateful you’re my friends, and that you stayed by my side, even after all that happened,” I tell them softly. “But you can’t turn your family life upside down because of me, and I don’t want you to.”

Sierra opens her mouth to respond, but I shake my head gently, stopping her.

“Zayn is your brother,” I say, looking at her with a sad smile. “And like a brother to you,” I add, turning to Thalia. “You shouldn’t be caught in the middle or forced to take someone’s side.”

“We are caught in the middle,” Thalia says. “But we’ll never take anyone’s side unless one of you does something unforgivable. Intentional.”

There’s a certain weight in the way she says it, as if she’s trying to make a point without actually saying what she means.

“And the fact that we want to spend time with you doesn’t mean we’re sacrificing time with our family,” Sierra adds gently. “First of all, you are family too.”

Her affirmation brings tears to my eyes instantly.

I’ve felt their support through all of this. They checked on me, making sure I was okay without ever asking about what I saw, without trying to interfere or offer advice, without bringing up Zayn.

This is the first time we’ve even come close to talking about the situation, and I’m the one who opened the door to it.

They never crossed the boundary they’d set for themselves because they never needed me to tell them I didn’t want to talk about it.

I’m not ready.

And I wouldn’t even know what to say if I were.

“So it’s settled,” Sierra announces. “We’re having dinner together tomorrow night.”

All I do is nod, silently praying that something comes up—anything that might give me an excuse to leave early.

Or not go at all.

FORTY-THREE

Zayn

With a bag full of toys in one hand and another stuffed with coloring books in the other, I push open the front door to Nick and Sierra’s house.

Our jet landed in London this morning, and we all went straight to work afterward. Apparently, Sierra has to attend some extremely important marketing event tonight, with Nick tagging along, obviously.

The problem started first thing this morning when their babysitter called to say she couldn’t make it because she was ill, which meant there was no one to stay with Serena.

And they thought of me. Why not, right?

Truth is, this isn’t the first time I’ve taken care of my niece, and I love every second we spend alone together. When it’s just the two of us, all her attention is focused on me—I don’t have to share her with everyone else. But the place my head is in lately isn’t exactly… ideal.

Still, I came here hoping she might pull me out of this mood for a few hours, give me something else to focus on, and help me relax.

As I reach the staircase and start making my way upstairs to her room, faint noises drift down from the second floor. Sierra is probably in there with her, getting her ready for bed before they leave.

She told me they’d be leaving around eight, and that’s exactly what the clock says now, so they should definitely be ready by this point.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I hear giggles and bursts of laughter, and the sound instantly pulls a smile across my face.

Standing in Serena’s doorway, I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I should go find Nick first. Then again, he might already be there with them, so I knock softly on the open door and step inside when nobody answers.

I leave both bags beside her bed and head to the bathroom. Its door is open too.

Now I can hear someone splashing around in water, and it’s obvious she’s getting everywhere, including all over the floor.